Tuesday, April 25

the other spaces

I had this dream last night where I went back in time to warn a friend about another friend's death.

Let's call them Dick and Bob.

'Dick,' I said, 'you don't know me [yet] but in October Bob's going to OD.'

'Ha ha,' said Dick, 'you're crazy.'

'I might be, but you'll be there when he does and you'll be the only one who can stop him.'

End dream.

I've had dreams like this before. I tried to warn John and Yoko once. On the morning before he stepped out into his death. They were hanging out in the bedroom whenI swept in - a ghostly apparition in their reality I think - and although I was a little taken aback by seeing John in the buff, I got straight to business warning them about his untimely demise in what was only - in their time - an hour or so away. Instead of paying heed they offered me a joint. And the rest is history.

This got me thinking about time with a capital T, warnings, those last few minutes and The Millisecond of No Return - that infintesimal space in Time where actions are edged just that one hairsbreadth too far and your life is changed forever. The slip in the shower that leaves you paralysed, that extra milligram of kat that your body just can not process, that footstep that misses the foothold. That one word that tips the scales. All these small moments and the terrible processes that are set in motion because of it - the irreversable ripple.

What if someone could meet you there in that quiet moment before a catastrophe and say, simply, 'stop'. Which moments would you choose?

I woke up this morning with the sudden rush that maybe Bob would be alive somewhere, that my dream had somehow worked. I had to muster some semblance of rationale - if he was alive it couldn't be in this reality. Nothing can be proven to be impossible against unthinkable realities.

Whatever the case may be, the day is made up of these infintesimal moments and maybe somewhere inbetween them, John's still getting stoned with Yoko and Bob's on his honeymoon.

Tuesday, April 18

Cunt Cowboy

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Herewith a new phrase is released into the wild for your use and abuse.

Cunt Cowboy n
A gay man who spends an inordinate amount of time with straight woman, supporting their heterosexual tendencies towards stupid straight men.
(opp. Fag Hag)

This word is not TM'd but should be because it's so beautiful.