Tuesday, July 25


A friend of mine got me into this site. Apart from all the other funny fluff, they have a legendary Do's and Don'ts section. They've even brought out a book, collecting all the Do's and Don'ts they've published through the years. It is - needless to say, otherwise I would be blogging this - hysterically funny.

Here's my recent favourite:

Another gooder for people who like to rip stupid famous people off is Go Fug Yourself.

Again, a real knee-slapper.

Good night all. Deadline is being pushed forward because I am not God.

No really. I'm not.

Thursday, July 13

the magical mystery tour - (an aside)

Now, although time is of the essence (looming deadlines), I have not forgotten Small Thoughts and Big Thoughts and the like, and these shall all be elaborated upon in due time.


Before I go any further I need to get this little issue off my chest.

The Commission on Gender Equality has found that two guest houses in Cape Town catering only for homosexual men are within their rights, saying this accommodation is a "necessity in our democratic society". iol

One headline even read that this was 'good discrimination'.

Now, I can't, for the life of me, figure out why heteros would even want to go to a 'gay' hotel (sies Mimi weet jy wat doen hulle daar?!), and I understand that no one feels comfortable being gawped at while you're trying to hang out and hang out and about.

But whatever is 'good discrimination'? Although it's never safe to polarize these issues into simple equations of :

discrimination = bad

acceptance = good

the contradiction is so blindingly obvious it's difficult not to balk.

In a free and democratic society would I be able to set up -

  1. an all boy's club
  2. an all-whites hotel
  3. a heteros-only restaurant

Whether the pink people like to admit it or not, the fight against discrimination started a long time before they pulled their collective fanny's out the closet. The struggle to free marginalised groups from sweeping generalisations and prejudice should hardly end with those self-same groups brandishing the concept of 'good discrimination' as a means to protect their interests. It seems retarded in logic.

Anyways, I'm sure the mysoginistics apes that frequented the old boys clubs thought it a good idea also.

Tuesday, July 11

the magical mystery tour - Part I

I don’t pretend to be well read. I’m certainly not. I wouldn’t know a Bronte from an Austen or a Shelley from a Coleridge; I’ve never finished The Odyssey and I all I know about Sophocles was that he was a Greek something or another. I never liked On The Road and couldn't understand The Wasteland if I tried. I’m bored quickly and even so, managed to lose my fascination for riveting fiction a few years back when it occurred to me that too many good writers spoil the proverbial broth.

To the point, even, that I don’t have the patience to sit through a long blog. Even less if it’s well-written or challenging in any way. (Probably the reason I’ve developed a penchant for children’s books - and then only if they have many beautiful pictures and few words.)

The aim of this tediously long intro is to begin a little excursion into a subject inspired by a few Small Thoughts that have recently culminated into A Big Thought (and then only just) by a fabulous movie I watched the other day - TransAmerica.

(note: Here I would've loved to add a picture but blogger's being full of shit again)

All these thoughts have been discussed ad nauseam by people far more versed in the subject of gender and sex and with oodles more patience and time than I do. So this could all fizzle out for me tomorrow and I’d simply write nothing more about it or I could continue and write something so tragically off the academic index that you’ll think I’m just stupid and boring.

Rest assured, you’d probably be right. Because not only with this not be well- researched / defined / footnoted, I’m simply not a funny person.

As a little horse de oovrey, below are listed and shall be discussed the Small Thoughts (in no particular order) -

1) Mostlyblue’s introspection regarding gender roles
2) The Vagina Monologues (or the drunken Vagina Fiasco)
3) reclaiming the word cunt
4) Camille Paglia (no assumptions here please)
5) Fag Hags and Cunt Cowboys
6) ‘new’ feminism as opposed to ‘old’ feminism (and What the Fuck is Feminism Anyway?)
7) the sacred feminine
8) my granny and getting older
9) tits, breasts, boobs - The Poetry of Body Parts or Whatever The Case May Be, They All Sag Eventually
10) mothers and sisters
11) blood and shit
12) penis envy
13) rape and abuse
14) masturbation and my friend Percival
15) the Sacred Whore
16) the Black Madonna
17) Eve and Lilith
18) Paris versus Madonna
19) the gigolo and the slut
20) loreal - because you’re worth it (and what was up with that terrible credit card ad with the perfectly English-accented homeless children?!)
21) The Red Shoes
22) Virginia and Sylvia
23) Hieros gamos
24) the nude, the naked and the body - John Berger’s ways of seeing woman objectified
25) the nude, the naked and why we hate our bodies
26) ritual and initiation
27) Simon De Beauvoir - Being a woman is such a drag
28) Women, fags, queers, queens, transvestites - Being a woman is such a drag

Which leads me to -

The Big Thought. Which now as I face it again escapes me, But it has something to do with TransAmerica and What is a Woman. Almost as indefinable, it seems, as that very annoying question - What is Art. Except I practically failed art history in school and I’m far too self-absorbed to give a shit about the technical differences between Greco and Caravaggio.

So sit back, relax. Read the blog. Don’t read the blog. Comment. Don’t comment. There’ll be lots of swearing I’m sure and talk of sex and body fluids.

And maybe an odd post about politics and The State of the World Today.

Love and hugs,

Thursday, July 6

my nemesis

Why oh why do I always fool myself about this. It looks so innocent really. So very very reassuring. Just two glasses - good lord how bad can that be? But before long my internal editor's desperate protestations have drowned out by a flood of goodwill towards men etc etc and the rest is history.

Or at least it would be if I could remember it.

Monday, July 3


I don't always. But I like this postcard because it reminds me of the warm sun filtering down on my face and the enormity of the tree reminding me of time and God.

I have a Big Question that used to plague me. How do you pray for belief?

the smell of excess

This is a public service announcement for all ex-Stellenbosch students.

Dear Maties

Now we're totally aware that this is not going to go down well with some of you. But in the inimitable words of Mary Poppins, just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down etc etc

There won't be a lot of sugar, but we'll say it now so as to soften the awful truth that follows.

All of us that have discussed this issue, love you and care deeply for you. We all think you are very smart and deserve all the recognition and justification that is due to you. I repeat: We think you are smart (but of course so do you), we love you (and so do you), we care about your well-being (what else is there?!).

Now we realise it was a lovely time in your life and you met wonderful people and had many, many exciting times. You came into your own really, grew up, developed something of personality (at least as much as you could between drunken episodes ha ha ha). You explored, you became aware, you found the font of knowledge and wisdom - and verily it was within you! You became aware of your awesome power to change the world. You bonded with your fellow world learners, you chatted until the wee hours of the morning, you woke up under bushes in the morning. It was a time if greatness.

We see that. We understand.


It's time to move on.

Whether you're aware of it or not, that strange mafioso thing you guys have got going for you is not enviable. It's sad. We're not saying that a little natter about the good ol' days isn't out of the question. But all the time? Has nothing else happened? Is there no other point of connection?

And no, we're REALLY, REALLY not jealous.

Go well, keep strong. Trust that there is, in fact, life after Stellenbosch.


The Rest of Us