Tuesday, November 28

Ah, such bliss is mine

mumps/mʌmps/ – noun (used with a singular verb) Pathology
an infectious disease characterized by inflammatory swelling of the parotid and usually other salivary glands, and sometimes by inflammation of the testes or ovaries, caused by a paramyxovirus.

or

mumps - noun
an infectious disease that simulates old age and retirement by subjecting its victims to daytime tv and soft vegetables

So. Watched Borat on Friday, climbed a mountain and rolled down hills on SaturDAY, felt a little glandy Saturday NIGHT, stayed in, went to bed. Woke up Sunday morning with the right side of my face swollen up like a very swollen up thing.

Drove in a daze of self-pity to M-KEM in Bellville - 25km away from Woodstock but with nice tannies and ordentlike susters - to get the verdicts from the Meneer Doktor.

Mumps.

I am thirty for godssakes. T H I R T Y.
This is only supposed to happen to children right?


oh god
and tv?? it's SO HORRIBLE. it's so very very horrible.

i currently know that:

  • dezi wants to buy the boutique but jan-hendrik isn't keen (can you say D I V O R C E)
  • marlyna is the killer and that psychic's vision is going to come true because john is going to shoot her
  • brooke is still a slut and that lard arse mother in law of hers, stephanie, still a frigid cow with hair issues (not to mention botox girl's splendiforous lips)
  • um what else...oh DALLAS yes...um i had no idea Bobby was so hard core and Priscella such a Little Miss Priss
  • all my children...Anna might've lost her baby.

and that's only since Sunday.

I WANT MY LIFE BACK

as some of you may or may not know, i have this falling down dead issue. being in the same family as a nasty childhood friend of mine, meningitis, mumps upsets me and requires me to drink my OMEGA 3s like a drunk on parole.

that's all i have to write for now. my jaw is stiffening up again and the chill setting in.

Fare Thee Well Fellow Bloggers.

Yours in Fever
Dorothy

xx

14 comments:

BD said...

Day time TV, marvel at it...

Lammervanger said...

Jeeezzz. How do you get pampoentjies as a young adult? What did oom dokter say?

Carien said...

sies tog! isn't it quite a serious thing if you're an adult? i remember my tannie having to be hospitalised when she contracted chicken-pox at the age of 40-ish... (you should post a question asking people what they do when they have to sit at home. i'm almost certain a few people will have some really weird ideas...)

Adam said...

Shame man. Jammer om te hoor. Moet mens spesiale kos eet? Soos jellie en weetbix?

Do Kwang said...

Is that Marlyna the same one who used to be possessed by a demon that made her eyes glow green - until it was excorsised by a priest who used to be her husband because at the time of their courtship and wedding he was suffering from retrograde amnesia and was unaware that he was actually a man of the cloth?

Triggermap said...

Thats the same Marlena do kwang - now she's a serial killer. However it turns out John wasn't a priest but using it merely as a cover for he was really a mercenary and art thief under the mind control of Stefano DiMera in the 80's. Its sad that I know all of this, but my defense is I work from home and often veg out in front of the tv.

Hope you feel better soon, Dorothy. As an aside, is it merely co-incidence that you mention Anna from AMC so soon after your horse post? :P

dorothy said...

trigger - hahahahhahahahahaha, shame, she is unfortunate looking hey. i didn't like her much because of it, but now, since watching her heartfelt tenderness re the unborn, i am moved to pity and reverence for her horsiness.
p.s. concerned at your knowledge of soapies

do kwang - see p.s. above

lam - isn't pampoenkies chickenpox? and lord knows how i picked it up, the only consolation i've been given is that it is 'going around' apparently. i hope the same thing can't be said for other vaccinated diseases like polio and measels.

carrie - good idea! i packed my bags (for my folks house) and threw in all my shit, thinking that i was going to do all this stuff you know, like write my definitive poem or touch the beginnings of my masterpiece. but instead i've ended up sleeping, sucking yogurt, watching telly and cross-stitching.

adam - anything soft and/or suckable...hm...well, that doesn't require you to open and close your mouth beyond the size of a five rand. i'm lucky actually, i only have it on one side.

Lammervanger said...

No, chicken pox is called waterpokkies. Mumps is definitely pampoentjies. I am a doctor after all. Never forget that.

Pienk Zuit said...

ag shame, poor dorothy.

At least you get to watch quality like 7de Laan. Don't worry, 7de Laan won't have a divorce. The average viewer will stop watching if something so horrible is to happen. The worst that happens is an accidental murder. And even then you are made to feel sorry for the murederer.

Anonymous said...

Shame sweetie... hope you have a quick recovery and are being well pampered (schnoek)

Do Kwang said...

Shit Triggermap, was the amnesia also part of John's cover. Was he a married man, pretending to be a priest who did not know that he was a priest who had gotten married?

maeree said...

haha, pienk zuit kyk 7de laan!

Margie said...

Wil nou nie Pienk Zuit se bubble bars nie, maar Wilmien en Zac het geskei... Hulle was seker nie tegnies meer op die show nie, though.

Wel, het Dinsdag laas gekyk toe Wilmien (terug tot die wind haar weer "weg waai") aan Dezi noem dat 'n huwelik soos haar en Jan-Hendrik s'n altyd sal hou (of similar) en dis toe dat Dezi in die verte staar en daar dramaties nostalgiese musiek speel. Ek dink Dezi gaan van Jan-Hendrik skei en dan haar ou vlam (en ware sielsgenoot) weer opsoek. Dan het sy hom (wat J-H is) mos om die "regte" en kan ons ons aandag wend na die nuwe, meer opwindende romanse. Jan-Hendrik sal effe onsteld wees, 'n bietjie knor, hap na sy ma en dan Waenhuiskrans toe gaan vir 2 weke.

Margie said...

Oeps: ...mos om die "regte" redes geskei en...

And I hope you feel better soon SOON, Dorothy!