Friday, November 24

The Black Hole



What you see here is The Terrible Bundle of Lost Things - what many have to know simply as The BAG. (I've included my mobile to validate size.)

My BAG is much like my CAR - a repository of crumpled and empty things, lying around for no other purpose than to irritate me and, more irritatingly, lying around for no other reason than I put it there.

My BAG has become an amusement to those around me - friends, family and strangers alike - and so I decided to peruse each item that has made its way into the various pockets and folds and to share with you the contents...

I challenge one and all to do the same - BAGS and MAGS (Man Bags) alike -

EMPTY YOUR RECEPTICLES OF STUFF AND SHARE WITH THE WORLD ITS CONTENTS!

here are mine:

  • 1 x Nokia
  • 1 x wooden bangle
  • 6 x Narcissus bulbs
  • 1 x Beat up Haruki Murakami - The Elephant Vanishes
  • 1 x crumpled tissue of unknown origin
  • 1 x overdue Notice To Apply For New Credit Card Format Driving Licence (an unnecessarily long title for UPDATE DRIVER'S)
  • 1 x overdue car licence renewal
  • 1 x journal
  • 1 x diary
  • 1 x passport
  • 1 x yogazone time schedule
  • 1 x wallet
  • 4 x pens
  • 1 x pilot flexigrip (just the best pacer in the whole world)
  • 1 x partnerless pen lid
  • 1 x undeveloped film
  • 1 x unsent letter
  • 1 x herbal mooti
  • 2 x starking apple
  • 10 (TEN) x hairbands (for what purpose TEN hairbands - i know not)
  • 1 x seapoint shopright till slip
  • R7, 15 in small change
  • various small bits of paper
  • an olive pip

Cough up people - what you got hiding in your bags...

9 comments:

arcadia said...

done.

Adam said...

Will do as soon as I come back. Definately.

Pienk Zuit said...

Most men have this built in fear of even taking a peak in a woman's handbag. We're scared of what we might find in there, but now it seems like that fear is simply irrational. Unless both you and Arcadia are lying and left out the scary stuff.

I don't have a BAG or a MAG. But I'll list the contents of my desk's top drawer.

Carien said...

I admit (not unlike Amélie's parents in the movie) to cleaning out my handbag weekly, at the very least. So it contains: wallet, cellphone, lipgloss, diary, tiny notebook and (one) medium blue clicky ballpoint pen.

Clutter makes me anxious.

Triggermap said...

I've only been into 2 bags belonging to women, and it was by request and with much trepidation from my side. Both times I spotted a present for Aunt Flo. They were quite blase about it.

maeree said...

hmmm... my post het 36 bullets.
ek sou graag wou reageer op pienk zuit en triggermap se vrese, maar ek is seker jy kan 'n baie beter reaksie skryf dorothy.

dorothy said...

pz - no scary stuff, though i can't imagine what would be so terrible? tampons? pads? a knife? pepper spray? what are these awful things men would be afraid to find? ever heard of the 'vagina dentata'?

it's the myth that (and this is VERY loose)a meat-eating fish inhabits the vagina of the Terrible Mother - works around that after orgasm a man leaves diminished...

maybe bags are like big vaginal metaphors - dark and unknown gaping holes filled with what? pleasure? pain? - and every man has a fear of delving into it because he's afraid he might not get his hand back.

trigger - i don't the flo ref

maeree - i'm pretty sure you'd be able to come up with something :)

carien - that's amazing!! i go through phases i.e. forty minute spurts of energy once a month - at least - where i get the cleaning bug...it's really cool to be neat. i would like to be neat. i dream sometimes about being neat. but it's just so never going to happen for me.

Pienk Zuit said...

Nope, first time I've heard of the vagina dentata.

That's why I say the fear is irrational. There's no real reason for it. But men still have it. Maybe because we're taught from very young to :
1. Never ask or comment about a woman her age,
2. never ask or comment about a woman's weight,
3. a woman's handbag is extremenly private and no men are allowed to look inside.

Maybe we where taught these things by women who become flustered by the thought that men might know they use tampons.

Adam said...

There. Done. Phew. Quite exhausting...