Monday, August 31

postsecret pic of the week

i still don't have a tatoo. i still want one. though someone told me once that if you need to think about it to hard you probably shouldn't get one. but i've wanted this one for years:

i haven't had it done yet because for the longest time i couldn't think of a place on my body that would be cool and i could see all the time ... where it could serve as the symbol it is and not as some decoration... i wasn't sure where that place was on my body until recently.

now i know i want it tatooed on the inside of my left wrist.

I'm not sure when i'll have that done. but i know it's going to be soon. i'm a bit of superwuss about it... it seems like a major commitment. ironically, part of the Ouroboros' significance is as a symbol of the biggest commitment in my life... so this kinda feels like a bit of test...

although found in many traditions, i've always been drawn to jung's interpretation of the Ouroboros in alchemy as the one that clicked... i found this succinct little explanation of it on wiki...

The alchemists, who in their own way knew more about the nature of the individuation process than we moderns do, expressed this paradox through the symbol of the Ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail. The Ouroboros has been said to have a meaning of infinity or wholeness. In the age-old image of the Ouroboros lies the thought of devouring oneself and turning oneself into a circulatory process, for it was clear to the more astute alchemists that the prima materia of the art was man himself. The Ouroboros is a dramatic symbol for the integration and assimilation of the opposite, i.e. of the shadow. This 'feed-back' process is at the same time a symbol of immortality, since it is said of the Ouroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to life, fertilizes himself and gives birth to himself. He symbolizes the One, who proceeds from the clash of opposites, and he therefore constitutes the secret of the prima materia which [...] unquestionably stems from man's unconscious.

Thursday, August 27


i've had no oomph to write here this week.

i've only got 3 friggin non-negotiables when it comes to dating - no addicts, no broken hearts and no one that is involved. i do not think this is unreasonable no?

so why, my plums, why must i be attracting these people.

the intern was such a surprisingly fabulous lover i would probably have fallen in love with him on that basis alone.


ex issues. nice.

Thursday, August 20


oh maree is a gas. a christian but a good person nevertheless. read up on her clone-a-willy post if you're afrikaans but if you're not or you're just too lazy to click through, read on...

patrons of the manly named clone-a-willy can choose between a chocolate, candle, soap-on-a-rope (um? point?), or regular glow in the dark, light or dark toned dildo/vibrator replica of their member to present to their loved ones.


now she'll never have to be one moment away from your most excellent penis. check out the website for more info (like, 'what if my penis is too big to make a mold of??' yeah, whatever bucko...) and informative instructional videos.
only a man coulda thought the soap one

there's even a pic of US troops sending their personalised willies home to their partners. you know. for warm, lovin' comfort for the missus back home (and just in case the real thing get's blown off...)

this whole doppelganger willy thing reminds me of the cast cynthia p caster made of jimi hendrix's penis.

jimi's head shot

except that she clearly didn't use the patented Medically Tested Molding Gel cos, damn, that little sucker looks grim.

i dunno. i had an art director once who made a rubber mold of his penis and would come up behind people and discreetly show it too them. that perv was into some freaky shit i think. he stopped living vicarioulsy through his fake cock when i finally grabbed it and started sizing it up very verbally. silly boy.


Sunday, August 16

lordy lordy


it's been a good weekend. right now i'm feeling nina in a big way. in a little sugar in my bowl way. you know what i'm talking about.

the next installment (or the one after that) of the dorothy black column is going to be about first time sex. why you ask? because i'm feeling inspired. met up with the intern and he was a surprisingly wonderful lover. i shall have him again i think.

apart from being completely moreish he also got me into a nina state of mind. so when i woke up on sunday to a brilliant blue sky over table mountain feeling well and truly shagged i had nina's 'nobody's fault but mine' in my head ... she plays the piano on this one and it just gets under my skin in a bit way...

anyway. more about the intern and nina later.

as some of you do, you can mail me with your interesting insights into the little phenonmenon of taking a new lover(s). whatever tickles your fancy.

Thursday, August 13

36 words you should never say in bed

HA! the frisky is funny my plums. caught this off buzzfeed today. glorious.
  1. Daddy (as in “Who’s your ...”)
  2. Yikes
  3. Vag
  4. The runs
  5. Pimple
  6. Anus
  7. Pee-pee
  8. Sloppy
  9. Facebook
  10. Oops
  11. Examine
  12. Monday
  13. Taxes
  14. Fart
  15. Rashy
  16. Uh-oh
  17. Chunky
  18. Growth
  19. Just like in jail
  20. Peen
  21. Gassy
  22. Boink
  23. Baby-girl
  24. Wee, as in little
  25. Tushie
  26. Chafe
  27. Adorable
  28. Yack, vomit, Ralph (unless it’s his name), puke
  29. Smegma
  30. Splooge
  31. Removed
  32. Ugly
  33. Ew
  34. Insert ex’s name here
  35. Mommy
  36. Juices
check out the rest of the article here. the comments are pretty cool. i'd have to add 'sorry' to that list. unless he's poked me somewhere untoward without forwarning that is...

Wednesday, August 12

the good, the better and the maybe

viceland's dos and don'ts is like the satorialist's anti-christ. and i love them both.


as the dark and light of each other's most essential essence of street style, they both have their own books.

the good

the better

do check these out if you get a chance. but this is all beside the point, because the point is ACTUALLY, that vice has come to south africa. check out an interview with publisher ace swart here (haven't seen it meself, but still...)

there's clearly a lot of glee about this lovely mag dropping on the dark continent but one dude on the 10and5 site with the video brought up an interesting point:

"Are South Africans even ready for Vice? We’re conservative, conformist and lack imagination. How are we going to handle the subversive content (which often borders on homophobic, racist and sexist)."

tis true i think. much of Vice's edge is that is doesn't do pandering. something our PC-prone, post-apartheid sensitivities are going to have to negotiate...

it also rates itself a 'subversive pop culture' mag... problem is, the very very very small demograhic that's going to be reading this isn't really part of where SA's new 'subversive pop culture's' at... at least not yet...
thankfully, with a 70/30 cut on intl and local info respectively, ace and his mates won't have to worry about that little niggly just yet...

go to VICE SA (kinda, but not quite...)

Tuesday, August 11

penis envy

oh my hat plums. after that tenga egg revelation i did some further research to find a suitable stand-in for the fleshlight for an upcoming MH article. i just can not bring myself to list that monstrosity as a viable sex toy.

then i found this. the masturbation sex toy that makes me wish i had a penis. it's like the man version of the delight. just squishier.

the tenga flip hole
the outside

the inside

todgertalk describes the experiences thusly:

Feels like: Well ... those buttons on the side are not for show; they actually allow you to regulate the pressure of the suction. After you've sorted that out, the ripply sensation up and down your shaft is pretty damn spectacular. I've not lasted more than three minutes on it yet, and am very worried that it might run off with someone else if I don't pace myself.

i want one. a penis and a tenga flip hole, just for one day...

Friday, August 7

eggstra interesting

plums. the japanese are just weird and you know it. i might also be a little late on the uptake with this. nevertheless. check this advert out.

i suppose it is a lot more discreet than the fleshlight, which, let's face it, isn't quite as undercover as its designers were probably wanting it to be. it's like the hillbilly version of the tenga egg.

Thursday, August 6

no money, no honey

Money and gifts in exchange for sex. It's a lot more common than you think, writes Dorothy Black...

Did you see that video of the Chinese schoolgirl giving an old guy head for $25 to buy a Gucci handbag? Neither did I. But, honestly, when I read about it yesterday I could hardly believe it – Gucci for $25? Not likely.

Seriously though. True story. The story of the girl that is.

Turns out it's a 'new' pattern among young Chinese girls inspired by their sexually enterprising girlie neighbours from Japan. It's euphemistically called 'compensated dating'. Or, what the rest of us would term 'transactional sex' – something that's been big in South Africa for quite some time. Read more...

because if you love me, you'll buy me a big fuckin ring

Wednesday, August 5

Sherlock Bones

sweet. it looks like mr madonna aka emotional retard (sic madonna) aka that guy guy ritchie is remaking sherlock holmes starring the delightful robert downey jr and the not-so-delightful jude law (hack hack).

but the greatest of this is is that there is speculation that there might be a little homoerotic play between holmes and dear watson. downey told press 'two men who happen to be roommates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It's bad-ass.'

and ritchie himself has warned the shuddering masses that there will be a GAY twist - OH MY GOD RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

people are weird.

is gay the new v-j...'scuse the lame rhyme, but seriously, is this such a scandal that people will rush to see holmes make out with watson?

anyway now that ritchie's left his anti-muse, the wicked witch of the west, we might start seeing some of his good movie mojo again. hurrah. i did quite like his previous wares.

check out the sherlock holmes trailer here .

Monday, August 3


as the write-up says on buzzfeed, 'this video starts strange, but then about halfway through takes a hard left turn into nightmare territory'.

SINGING BABIES! from Everything Is Terrible on Vimeo.