my gran died on sunday. on my birthday. she was 99 years old and rocked hard to the end. between marriages and mothers, divorce and death, she was one of the strongest prevailing feminine influences in my life.
she was hardcore in the way that only people who've lived through two world wars can be. she didn't take shit and didn't mollycoddle. not until recently at least.
some of my characteristics that i am most happy with are from her. she taught me how to be strong when i didn't want to be. she taught me how to grow things and do needlework. she taught me how to laugh at silly things. she showed me the value of one's hands. she made the best curried fish and apple tart and christmas pies in the world.
i love her and appreciated her existence in this world in a way that is very difficult for me to express.
i am deeply deeply saddened that she is no longer here. that her smell of face powder and hairspray will fade. that our very small family is now even smaller.