Monday, November 30

postsecret pic of the week

after the post about stupid poople that like to opine about something they're completely ignorant about, i thought this week's pspoftw would be appropriate.

it took a friend of mine 11 years in and 1 year out of an abusive relationship to realise she wasn't to blame for the broken bones.

in lyall watson's dark nature, he has this fabulous quote:

Nemo repente fuit turpissimus - Juvenal (Decimus Junius Juvenal)

Nobody ever became depraved all at once.

It's the same with being abused. It is a slow process of manipulation and emotional blackmail that eventually becomes violence supported by manipulation and emotional blackmail.

anyway. happy monday morning poppits. thanks for all your emails. you be rocking as always.

Wednesday, November 25

expose yourself and reader comments to cringe by

Sex columnist Dorothy Black poses in the buff (sort of) and thinks you should too

I spent the better half of Saturday afternoon on the floor of my bedroom. I’d created a makeshift studio of bedspread and mirrors for a little project I’d been challenged to take on by one of my readers:

Hey dorothy, thought you might like this site: Take a look, maybe take part. I'm on there...


sadly no comments to laugh by in this column - unless you consider anne S, some weird little poopl that rants and raves and gives her/himself an ulcer on every 24 column.

where i did find a disturbing comment was on sam's column regarding abuse against women and children, 16 days of activism and what men are doing to start the discussion among themselves.

as usual there was the regular BS where readers aren't actually READING as much as they are picking up key words and personalising the issue beyond measure...


the point of concern was THIS comment (there might've been others but i gave up following the convo).

@samwilson 11/25/2009 1:00:13 PM
I see you are the editor-in-chief of Women24 as well. you say things like this in this article and then on Women24 you put up an article 'Expose yourself' which is about women who is positive about posing naked. How do you bring that together.

Dear stupid person no.56 700 000

If woman A is pro porn, pro exhibitionism, pro BDSM, pro prostitution and just generally pro sex in general it does not mean she is pro violence. It does not mean she is open to being emotionally abused, beaten, raped or murdered.

But a more interesting fact for you might be that there is no precedent or reason needed for an abuser to abuse or violate. In this case, the woman doesn't have to 'wear a short skirt' or 'act like a slut'. The child doesn't have to be naughty or 'suggestive'.

Victims or survivors are not asking for it. Abusers just like to dish it out anyway.

fuck man. oao plums. this shit pisses me off.

this is from rageagainstthemanchine (thanks lili):

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime — no matter how “into it” others appear to be.

Monday, November 23

postsecret pic of the week and i love the christmas in my head

plums. the fob has passed. i honestly don't know what came over me.

i was blogging from an igoogle widget – that's how much i couldn't bring myself to be here.

what happened? i do not know. BUT, hurrah for me my lovelies, i am feeling better.


this is my favourite postsecret this week. i love it because apart from loving song and dance musicals i also love love LOVE christmas carols. they make me happy. especially the nat king cole and bing crosby ones. don't judge me. it's better than having a fetish for poking dead puppies with screwdrivers.

or something.
it was either jesus or father christmas. the choice was easily made.


LOVE this movie.

i totally bought into the hollywood christmas. but sort of new york style. like woody allen houses and barbra streisand grandeur with a little bit of billy joel blues for the cool people.

like a norman rockwell painting for the 50s inspired by the 80s sense of romance.

with a touch of enchantment courtesy of the nutcracker imagery and music.

just magic.

i should leave this alone hey? oh well, here's a parting shot...

pic by istock in case you were wondering

Friday, November 20


it's just been one of those weeks my plums. back in force on monday. i've been avoiding the blog. i don't know why. i've developed some sort of fear of it. haven't even checked the stats. i shall call it FOB - fear of blogging.

Thursday, November 19

is anybody out there?

the eagle maketh a funny sound


note to self: enough with the bad stuff already

in hiding

will be back shortly.

Friday, November 13

poke poke

no offence plums, but for really reals now, most News24 readers are so fucking easy to rile it makes me squirm.

now i've had my little squeal about how tired some writers can be when it comes to sucking a story out of the ether, but. my. fuck.

how easy is it to get the jizz on with a few choice topics that no one in SA seems to get tired of?

it was confirmed again today that to get people to click click click and spout spout spout completely unrelated bile, writers don't have to say anything particularly interesting or in any particularly well-written way.

you just have to pick the right topic.

an emailic rant with cm.

me: just a little rant. why o WHY WHY WHY is this airhead - who get's paid for her shitty columns on XXXXX - writing this drivel about sex and getting news24 exposure??
cm: that was WAY too short!
me: and way too stupid no? and XXXXX person at least TRY and make it applicable to your 'oeuvre'
cm: yes, extremely coy, too - but still the morons respond anyway - as if it had been a proper column...
me: exactly - which makes me totally feel like it doesn't matter WHAT you write. in fact, next blog post on that...
cm: you may have a point. I wonder how they'd respond if I wrote a column that just said:
There is no God. Go.
Would probably get hundreds of comments
me: WHAHAHA - that's exactly what i mean. all columns could just read:
god is a woman. GO!
homos are better than heteros. GO!
Allah took it up the arse. GO!
Afrikaaners should leave the country. GO!
Black people can't swim (or drive). GO!
women belong in the kitchen. GO! ... oh wait, actually that one might get the least comments as that is the least contested across all cultures in SA.
cm: yup - now if only we could get the editors to do it. Maybe sign up for a user account, do something like that and see what happens...

so. for my next column, i shall simply write: white christian south african men like to take it up the arse (and black people can't drive).

and i'll get a million million comments and hits.

me bitter? never.

oao plums. it's weekend. i'm deflated. when will i be famous? where is my grouse? why do fairies die? AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THAT FUCKING BANGING.

it's my blog and i'll rant if i want to.

hot or not

people can poo poo (the dating site that only accepts beautiful people) as being superficial and kak as much as they like, but at least its honest.

(and, really, they only confirmed what we all knew about the brits anyway)

Tuesday, November 10

turning tricks

Dorothy Black thinks that sex workers and their johns should be decriminalised

About two years ago Miss K was propositioned by a fine German gentleman to be his girlfriend for the duration of his stay in South Africa. I say ‘propositioned’ because he would pay her for the pleasure. She would live in an apartment he rented and drive a car he provided. She would get R25 000 tax-free cash a month to spend as she pleased.

He suggested it over a light snack of oysters and Bollinger on the second date. Read more...

the whole sex worker debacle is just getting so freakin tired. Enough already. Can we just legalise it and move on to more pressing issues? why are we all so concerned with what other people do with their genitals?!

sex workers who are abused, raped and maltreated, sex workers who are underage and coerced into the profession - THOSE are crimes. but the transaction that takes place between two consenting adults? what the fuck is that? nobody else's business is what it is.


i'll share with you the most interesting piece i've read on this whole selling sex issue. it's an article that appeared in the guardian earlier this year and comes from that whore mongering self-proclaimed dandy, sebastian horsley (just bril don't you think?) - the brothel creeper. (pity about the little woody allen lift, but hey...).

horsley claims to have slept with over a thousand hookers and believes that prostitution should remain illegal. here's my favourite bit:

Of course, the general feeling in this country is that the man is somehow exploiting the woman, but I don't believe this. In fact, the prostitute and the client, like the addict and the dealer, is the most successfully exploitative relationship of all. And the most pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no squalid power game. The man is not taking and the woman is not giving. The whore fuck is the purest fuck of all.

ha. akso, check out chris mac's take on it in his column, hookers and crookers.

Thursday, November 5

what would sookie hear

So. thinking some terrible thoughts the other day, it occurred to me that if there were a sookie (sookeh is mah human) around, i'd be fucked. (Yes. I have started watching True Blood. And weirdly, apart from Lafayette, I'm just not that into it.)

and then i thought, just as well no one can hear what we think but if they could would be more careful about what we let moosh about in the grey?

the christians did that whole what would jesus do (WWJD) wristband thing in the 1990s, but i figure, as the rest of us only have TV, social networking and advertising to tell us whether we're being good or bad, a new icon of conscience should be born, and as true blood and vampires are now all the rage, we could have What Would Sookie Hear WWSH (TM) wristbands to help us micro-micromanage our bad thoughts.

my conscience. at least it's pretty. and famous.

it's sort of like 1984 but for the post-MTV generation - more sparkly and less intimidating and kind of sexy, but still very, very creepy.

Wednesday, November 4

Food and sex

There's only one thing that should be eaten during sex and it's not food, says Dorothy Black
There are three things that should never be considered fair game when one is drunk. The first is your body, the second is every number on your mobile phone and the third is column space. Messing with any of these three things will give you a belly ache.

So, this is what came from that vom fest of a friday that i blogged about a few weeks ago.

I know know know the whole sex/food thing can be cool in some weird way, but seriously, EVERY time i think of it i just think skat and feeder fetish. and then i'm just too grossed out for words.


and then you get reader shit like this:

i love to eat nandos sauce during Cunnilingus ,it spice thing up
preshen govender 11/4/2009 9:26:31 AM

pour some chilli on me. not.

thanks preshen. my vagina thanks you for that image. you're always such a gas.

Monday, November 2

postsecret pics of the week

it's all so tragic sometimes. i don't like sad endings. but sometimes i think i feel like that's all i ever think is going to happen. or something like that.

but i don't really though.

just sometimes i think the thought sits deep in my brain, hiding like a nasty little troll just waiting to scramble out at the best of times and make a poop of everything.

i blame it on one particular thing adults love telling children to warn them about the harsh 'reality' that life is a living hell of fear and regret.

All good things come to an end.

fuckit. i so hate that phrase. all 'bad' things 'come to an end' also. so why pick on the good things? if you ever say this shit to children you should stab yourself in the neck with a blunt object. if you ever say this shit to yourself you should OD on some arb OTC drugs.


happy monday morning plums.