Friday, November 13

poke poke

no offence plums, but for really reals now, most News24 readers are so fucking easy to rile it makes me squirm.

now i've had my little squeal about how tired some writers can be when it comes to sucking a story out of the ether, but. my. fuck.

how easy is it to get the jizz on with a few choice topics that no one in SA seems to get tired of?

it was confirmed again today that to get people to click click click and spout spout spout completely unrelated bile, writers don't have to say anything particularly interesting or in any particularly well-written way.

you just have to pick the right topic.

an emailic rant with cm.

me: just a little rant. why o WHY WHY WHY is this airhead - who get's paid for her shitty columns on XXXXX - writing this drivel about sex and getting news24 exposure??
cm: that was WAY too short!
me: and way too stupid no? and XXXXX person at least TRY and make it applicable to your 'oeuvre'
cm: yes, extremely coy, too - but still the morons respond anyway - as if it had been a proper column...
me: exactly - which makes me totally feel like it doesn't matter WHAT you write. in fact, next blog post on that...
cm: you may have a point. I wonder how they'd respond if I wrote a column that just said:
There is no God. Go.
Would probably get hundreds of comments
me: WHAHAHA - that's exactly what i mean. all columns could just read:
god is a woman. GO!
homos are better than heteros. GO!
Allah took it up the arse. GO!
Afrikaaners should leave the country. GO!
Black people can't swim (or drive). GO!
women belong in the kitchen. GO! ... oh wait, actually that one might get the least comments as that is the least contested across all cultures in SA.
cm: yup - now if only we could get the editors to do it. Maybe sign up for a user account, do something like that and see what happens...

so. for my next column, i shall simply write: white christian south african men like to take it up the arse (and black people can't drive).

and i'll get a million million comments and hits.

me bitter? never.

oao plums. it's weekend. i'm deflated. when will i be famous? where is my grouse? why do fairies die? AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THAT FUCKING BANGING.

it's my blog and i'll rant if i want to.


Sparky said...

you should be in the kitchen cooking, woman!

(love the zombie picture. kiss kiss)

dorothy said...

i want to be in the kitchen cooking dammit. except someone else must clean up my mess. and maybe do the shopping. and prepare the ingredients.

Sparky said...

so...just so I'm straight about your kitchen involvement, you want to throw some goodies in a pan, scootch them around a bit, throw them on a plate and take a bow?

you might have a promising career in food television.

Anonymous said...

"Jy vra waarom ek in die groen berge woon/Ek glimlag en antwoord nie, my hart is sonder sorge./Die perskebloeisels dryf stroomaf en verdwyn./Daar is 'n ander hemel en aarde, anderkant/die wereld van mense." - Li Po

I just found this on my friend johannes' facebook - repeat 5x and go check your inbox - didn't you get the memo that it's moron week again, it comes round about 52 weeks a year in SA, so don't you worry too much about dem dumfucks