Wednesday, March 24

The Boob Guy

Who's your mamma? Dorothy Black thinks all men should be put to the breast test

At the risk of oversimplification, I’m going to say that the whole of Mr Straight Mankind can be divided into two basic bedroom types – Boob Guy and Pussy Guy.
This is my experience and as I’m scientific that way, I’m going to stick to my theory. Let me explain. Read more...

when a guy knows what he's doing with the boob, it can be just the most wonderful, wonderful thing.

but if you're a Boob Guy or display Boob Guy tendencies and want to not to be or do so, go here for some useful advice on what to do with this most awesome of body parts.

The Boob Guy column was as a result of a dinner with the wiatches a week or so ago.

we were talking about tit wanks and breast size and how it all works and interesting things one can do with the boob, and it reminded me of a really horrifying moment i experienced with a boob guy once.


it followed a 'and then' moment.

you know:

well, he was so wonderful, and he said this fantastic yack yack yack and then he did this marvellous yack yack yack and it was going so well yack yack yack ... AND THEN ...

and you just know what follows is kak...

so.

this one particular evening... we went out etc etc, he was so wonderful etc etc ... he was a great kisser etc etc ... we went to the bedroom etc etc ... he undressed me slowly etc etc... he lay me down etc etc...

AND THEN...

he lay on my chest.
closed his eyes.
and sucked and sucked at my one nipple so that i thought i might actually start lactating.
and made weird clutchy hand movements along the side of my breast.

*blink*

Boob Guys. Fuck. Or not, as the case my be...

anyhoo.

i'm decided to use this platform for a little psa: just a little reminder in ode to the breast.

ladies don't forget to do your own breast tests. boob cancer aint no laughing matter.


i could've used one of those pretty soft focus pics of women's torsos as they cover their breasts with a soft focus arm.

but you've seen those a million times over not so? and some of you are still not going for regular gynae checkups - or have never been - have never had a pap smear and do not feel yourselves up to check for lumps...

don't be a moron. the best prevention is early detection.


oao plums. i've got some feeling up to do...

4 comments:

Sparky said...

I'm into legs and feet. does that make me a pussy guy?

dorothy said...

no that makes you a freak.

:)

jokes.

Sparky said...

meanie!
*runs off sobbing*

beaverboosh said...

i am defo a boob and pussy guy!