Tuesday, April 13

Dear Dot: Anal play

got this letter in from Bum Loving this week. i considered answering on 5FM but it's too hardcore for our more mainstream listeners apparently, so i'll keep the answer here.

lucky you.

before i go into it, i have to point out how unfortunate it is that so many people mail about issues they feel uncertain about because they don't feel their issues are 'normal'.

sadly none of us are that unique that our darkest thoughts have not been thought or recorded by someone else.

i, for one, have always found huge comfort in that.

anyway. onward and onward...

censorship of peen courtesy of sankakucomplex.com

........................................................................................................

Hi there,
I have always considered myself a straight guy, although I have thought about all kinds of interesting things in my life. I have no real desire to deviate from a hetrosexual desire.
I do, however, have an absolute bum fetish and on top of that really enjoy anal stimulation.
Anal penetration is a huge turn-on, although I am not the slightest bit interested in being with a man.
Whenever I have tried to discuss this with someone, usually a partner, I am always asked if I am gay, which of course I am not.
I'm trying to figure out why I have such strong desires for anal penetration when I have no interest in men.
Please help.... Bum Loving
........................................................................................................

Hey BL

First off, liking anal does not mean you're gay. being gay does not mean you like anal play. many of my gay friends do not practice penetrative sex. many straight men and women i know enjoy anal play and penetration.

the two aren't mutually inclusive.

but you say you're not gay so much i wonder if you're worried you might be. and so what if you are? i wonder if your bottom fetish includes fantasies about other men? does that make you 'gay'? i don't know. frankly i could be considered 'straight', but looking at other women totally turns me on. does that make me gay? i don't know. do i care? not particularly.

nevertheless, why you're into penetrative anal play could be because the sense of submissive vulnerability turns you on or maybe your enjoyment is simply because it's physically pleasurable (heard of the p-spot? love your prostrate. **check out the little vid, it's quite cool**) - or heck, maybe it's both.

the p-spot

frankly, Bum Loving, you could spend the next 10 years delving into the deep, psychological and physiological reasons behind why you enjoy it, or you can be like millions of other people across the world and just enjoy it. i mean, fuck, i don't question why i have a g-spot that likes to be touched in a certain way. you shouldn't waste time worrying why you like anal penetration -- concentrate on the hows and the 'whys' will become apparent eventually.

as for the dullards that think you're gay the minute you say 'anal' you'll just have to keep looking until you find someone who's mind has evolved past eighth grade, who is compatible and who is willing to explore with you.

bette wasn't expecting the strap-on

check some toys at mantality and find some like-minded people at sexfind and collarme.

much love,
dot

6 comments:

Sparky said...

admittedly, the rusty sheriffs badge has never held much appeal to me.

am I in danger of being straight? dear dot, please help!!

dorothy said...

dear sparky
it's a common concern among young, single men. the only way to know for sure is test yourself by being in close proximity to a female who is scantily clad. if your bits go warm you're straight i'm afraid.
dot

sparky said...

dear dot.
said reaction happens even standing upwind of people with girl bits.

am abandoning hope now.

kyknoord said...

Wait - what should one waste time worrying about?

beaverboosh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
beaverboosh said...

kyk, i think you best focus your attentions on the great bagel conspiracy... for my part, my bits go nuts at the slightest whiff of a girly... and love the back office as much as the front office...