Monday, May 10

jesus loves YOU

it's no secret that i love the YOU bible.

i know it's always been a bit of a middle-ground, god-fearing publiction. which weekly compendium of saffa culture wouldn't be. i didn't mind though. not until recently anyway.

i found this easter edition of the YOU bible lying around the house we went to in church haven.

indeed. how was jesus crucified?? (double exclamation marks for emphasis peeps!!!) apparently the creator of this horrifying piece of mel gibson inspired fantasy knows exactly.

jesus one

jesus two

just in case you didn't know which way jesus was being tapped on the head

and then, in what has to amount to just the sort of outrageous levels of fabrication of the kind that started 'The War on Terrorism' the artiste goes into detail...

jesus three

...and it just narrowly missed his heart china, can you fuckin belief it????

i don't know what i love more about this pic, that it is so specific or that the editor felt the need to label major organs. pity there wasn't one for 'brain'.
jesus four

ben couldn't wait to get home and tell dirk he straddled the messiah

they drove a nail exactly 12 cm at a diagonal into jesus' hand in a manner that would make a lot of kinksters hot under their collars...

and then my favourite detail

jesus five

a lesson in class -- snappy, bloody zwooshes

i think this is fucking horrifying. the only explanation is that people are bored and have to push the boundaries cos they can't do fuck-all with muhammed in case they get killed.

so jesus will have to do. forever the martyr. goooo jesus!

and people wonder why i chose father christmas over this bloodied corpse.


Sparky said...

just one of the many reasons i stopped studying to be a priest.

Anonymous said...

IT'S about tym someone said IT! Who do they think thier BSing! I'm a Christian I just dont believe this SHIT!

Alwill said...

couldn't believe it either when one of my friends showed me this. but then that's one of the big 'selling points' of Christianity. Jesus died for your sins - so you have to feel moerse guilty about it, cause look at all the kak he had to go through - just for you.

6000 said...

Sure, the Jesus stuff is just weird to find in a gossip mag, but that cover has to been my favourite of all time.


Yeah - she looks like a bloke in a dress.

dorothy said...

@6000 - yeah that was an old one - all they did was make castor look like a modest trannie

Holly said...

Argh I think I nearly puked up my curry - who do these people think they are? Yes we all know the story but what exactly are they trying to prove or sell?
Castor does look like a trannie - i feel sorry for her though what a media raping.

Ryan said...
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Ryan said...
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Shemale Cam said...

ugly tranny I might add

kyknoord said...

Nasty, nasty Romans! I wonder what the safe word was?

Sparky said...

if "Spartacus - blood and sand" and "Rome" are anything to go by, I think the safe word was "MORE!"

dorothy said...


YesThatPetunia said...

I call that "religious porn"

Anonymous said...

Seriaaas. In You? Bet that got all the aunties knickers nice and moist. Religious fervour is hot, man.