Sunday, June 27


except, that see, i only like that for its alliterative value. mostly, i'd like a build-a-man.

dear universe/god/baby jesus/venus/zeus

i was wondering if you could challenge me with a man that possessed the following qualities:

1. a high degree of emotional intelligence yes, i know, a girl can dream...
2. honesty ie the ability to be honest with himself and me.
3. balls. i mean this figuratively speaking. someone braver than i am. someone not afraid to tell me i'm being full of shit when i am (which is often). someone that can argue without breaking everything.
4. integrity
5. compassion kindness for self and others
6. sense of humour a vital requirement to go out with me
7. a lust for living. i know we all have kak patches, but a defeatist attitude 100% is so not ayoba for me. i really had to struggle to get over mine for the longest time, i don't want to have to nurse someone else's.

of course, if he's shit in bed though, none of that counts. so, you know, just saying.


you know what. i've figured that that whole list can actually just be boiled down to one request. someone that's not scared of me. you'd be surprised how much i am incapable of finding this type of person.

keep your psychoanalysis to yourself. i get the whole pattern i'm on.


what got me thinking about this was a) mr hardman's final adieu and b) and the little man i built on saturday:

introducing my two-faced, cardboard cut-out man (not too dissimilar to the men i fall in love with):

Gianluigi Buffon apparently. i'm just going with buffoon, cos that's like dotspeak for 'man' right now.



suddenly the buffon turns into someone completely different!
how does that happen dot wonders

very pissed about this mr hardman thing. was super crazy about him. almost had me believing love was enough.

you know, here's something i wasn't going to tell you, but i will now. this is probably how i should've known it would never work out.

on our first date, i had the briefest of visions.

we were on the beach, he was waiting for me at the end of a makeshift path which was flanked by friends and family. it was sunset and lovely and warm and fantastic. (i'm very visual, i can stuff an entire vision into a split second. i do the same with dreams... anyhoo...). we were getting married of course. and there was mr hardman looking dashing...but he was wearing in a white suit... with a red herring bowtie...

shoulda fucking known. a red bow tie would never work for me.


Anonymous said...

Very crafty.

Shelldon said...

Argentina just scored their 3rd goal and it was awesome, it also means I forgot what I was going to say. Probably something along the lines of... "how did you not see this was gonna happen?" and "it sux anyway so you have my sympathy". Think I was also gonna throw in something about "real men... Capt Town... hahahahah". :)

dorothy said...

@shello whatever blah blah blah :)
@KN - one of my many talents

Sparky said...

I know its a very poor consolation, and of utterly no use to you, but I still love you to bits and without reservation. unfortunately, I'm probably shit in bed, so we could never work out, but I'm still awesome company.

lets meet up sometime soon and talk shit, yes?

ExMi said...

i think 'articulate' (both verbally and emotionally) is another important thing to have.

having someone who is unfraid of me is useless, unless they can CONVINCE me i'm full of shit. i'm not going to believe a mere assertion without justification.

dorothy said...

@sparky - good idea
@exmi - i'm assuming that said person is of the nature to construct a convincing argument for my full of shittiness. maybe is wishful as the rest of the list but there you go

Anonymous said...

Sorry to burst your bubble Dot, but there is no such thing as the perfect man :( You are lucky if you get 4 out of 7!
To place all your happiness in the hands of one person is a mistake - it is also a huge burden to place on us imperfect beings

dorothy said...

dear anonymous - i'm pretty sure i didn't list 'perfect' and i don't entrust all things to one person.

however, i think 'honesty', 'integrity', 'compassion'and 'sense of humour' are all qualities i find in abundance in my friends and not over-extending when it comes to choosing a partner.

'balls' and 'lust for living' are maybe pushing it for a lot of men (and people in general)

and of course 'high degree of emotional intelligence' is just simple plain wishful thinking.

so i think 6 out of 7 character traits that make a person awesome in my opinion is hardly pushing it unless you believe most men are devoid of the majority of these qualities.

now if i'd requested a house in camps bay, a 60k salary and outlined how said dude should look, that he should cook, help out orphans, love opera and understand shakespeare and still list armegeddon as one of his fave movies ... well, that would be asking too much.

Anonymous said...

Forgive my assumption that you were after the 'perfect man', but 7 out of 8 (included the good in bed bit)seem to allude to the perfect man.
Sadly I think most people, irrespective of their gender are devoid of all 7 qualities.

C said...

May I boast and say that my boyfriend of 4yrs (like the time span matters) has met my "checklist" which is similar to your 7 points. 1-6 is the same. My 7 is "Eager to explore what life and the world has to offer".
Emotional intelligence improves with each new challenge we face as a couple and each situation that he is exposed to but the base was there when we met
These guys do exist. Your "perfect" one does exist. It just takes time and you'll meet when you're ready. Until then, have fun living the life you have and being the best you can.
Most men are devoid of most of these - but then, most men aren't your perfect match. They meet someone else's requirements. Else it would all be too easy.
Good luck, have fun and keep searching - patience, he's out there!

dorothy said...

@anony - the only perfect person is me naturally. :)
i agree 100% about most people not having those qualities. i'm surrounded by really amazing friends, so i guess i tend to think that the whole world is like that.

@c -- wow. that's super for you my hon. good to know that outside of my whining relationships do work :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry Dot - you gotta share the limelight - I am perfect too!

dorothy said...

@anony - we should have a perfectism-off. or something. :)

Anonymous said...

LOL. I would win :))

dorothy said...

omg. a challenger on my own blog! how rude. show me yours anony. gimme something to work with here.

Anonymous said...

EXPOSE myself ? hell no :)
I am suffering from a severe case of delusions of self importance and perfection. Prozac doesn't seem to be helping. Perfection is in the eye of the deluded