Tuesday, June 22

who invited the sex columnist to the baby shower!

If you’re going to invite babyless friends to your baby shower, there should be booze, advises Women24 sex columnist Dorothy Black.

So, the other day, I get a call from my mate Gaby.

She: Oh. My. God. Dot.
Me: What?
She: Baby shower.
Me: I’m so sorry.
She: We have to wear pigtails and wear bibs.
Me: *blink*. Maybe it’s to wipe up your vomit?

I’m not great at condolences.

Gaby and I are both babyless women. Babyless women surrounded by baby-making friends. And the time has come for me to ask all you happy mums and mums-to-be out there:

Seriously. What IS it with the baby shower


ja. this might be the last time i write for parent24. FOUR comments. my ego can't freaking take it. it's taken too many sucker punches to the gut lately. i cry foul. time out.

you'd think people had more interesting things to discuss like the life-changing event of a NEW HUMAN than MY OPINION.

yeah yeah whatever

it felt weird writing for the other side anyway. it was like cheating on women24. on my peeps there.

all for 4 comments.

shit man.

look i'm not a total offspring grinch. just a less than awesome week and it's nothing i even have time to blog about.


Fii said...

I read it on Pee24 but the comments thingy kept kicking back at me like a deranged French football coach....

Howevar... I hate baby showers. Loathe them. Puerility meets Purity.

And have you seen the latest Trend? OhMaaiGawd. The invite the husbanks along. And they get to join in the "fun" and participate in feeding wifey Chocolate Yoghurt Purity (blindfolded, mind) every time she gets her prezzie guess wrong.

SIS man!

Sparky said...

I guess that's one way of looking at it, dorothy.

on the other side of the coin, I'm sure you get more babymaking practice than all the parents combined.

because nothing kills sex drive like a newborn bacteria farm.

dorothy said...


'participate in feeding wifey Chocolate Yoghurt Purity (blindfolded, mind) every time she gets her prezzie guess wrong'


vom vom vom

it's like we're all in playshool again

Cams said...

If it helps, I think I was comment No 5. Help the bruise ego much?

Fii said...

But wait! There's more!

One 'event' I went to the hostess got a potty(!), put some lemonade in it, plus a Chocolate Log floating in that . And the poor M2B had to dip her face in that and try eat/drink the contents if she guessed a prezzie wrong.

I now approach these events with trepidation...and I am pleased to say that I avoided baby showers with both the kids I have! There's a lot to be said for early or unscheduled births.....

Xayaan said...

Don't worry, I'm sure the comments will pick up. I see it's on News24. Give it a few hours I think.

Personally I loved it, thanks for writing the piece for us! It was bril!

I am really, really not looking forward to mine one day because I have a feeling my cousins will do all sorts of horrible things to me for the same reason they did them to me at my bridal shower: Because it was done to them, and they're getting revenge on poor old me. I didn't even do those things to them. I was 12 at the time for gods sake! (/rant)

dorothy said...

@Fii - i've heard of that poop thing. unBELIEVEABLE. thought it was just a urban myth (and then... then he made her eat the poop...) well, urban myth or XXX extreme fetish swingers party XXX. urgh.

@xayaa - i was feeling miserable last night. pay no attention to me. as i don't have children i tend to let my inner child get childish on me sometimes. and then i scold it. some people call that bipolar. i call it a way to fill the boredom...

Charlie said...