Wednesday, July 14

Three's a crowd?

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Dorothy Black thinks that some things are better left planned

There are many wonderful things that can be done spontaneously. Going on a spur-of-the-moment picnic is one. I like that. Coming home to a surprise candle-lit dinner is another. That is also nice.

These are good, wholesome spontaneous activities.

But there are other, trickier spontaneous ventures that are best given some thought. I have quite a list, which includes stupid shit like spontaneous drunken, car-surfing in Hermanus in winter. At night. For example. Or a spontaneous hike to Bainskloof waterfall in winter. At night. Without a torch.

While these might be not so awesome by virtue of risk to life, at the top of my list entitled ‘Tricky Spontaneous Things (Not) To Do’ is that spontaneous threesome that seems like a super idea after five bottles of wine and enough tequila to flood a small village. Read more...
So got a letter in from a dude last week. Him and his wife have discussed and are flirting with the idea of finding a chicken to join them for their first threesome.

Answering it on the dotspot tomorrow at 10:15 (tune into live audio streaming at 5FM ya'll) ... but as there are some things one cannot say on a national family radio station, here's what i've told dude on email:

you can try sexfind.co.za, gaydar.co.za, dateomate (though i have yet to trawl this one, so don't my word for it, a plum posted this site) or even gumtree.co.za for possible partners (there are others but they basically share the same databases).

be very, very specific when you draw up a list of what you want and what you require. You'll prolly get some people trying their luck (whether it's about sex or a nigerian scam) emailing you (do not list your cell number) so set up fake gmail account and work from that. On sexfind you'll be able to chat with the people (they have a chat function)...

14 comments:

Sparky said...

hmmm.
I'm willing to bet good money this column is going to turn into a complete flame magnet.

but you handled it fairly and concisely. not that I'd know anything about the subject (pleasing one woman is challenging enough, and the thought of another peen between the sheets grosses me out a bit)

Anonymous said...

I KNOW I would never trust him again afterwards... usual be convinced he was into the third person more etc. (can't be a bloke you see) and I would feel cheated on if he so much as looked at no 3. So what would be the point except for divorce city?

dorothy said...

anony - well that's why threesomes aren't for everyone :) maybe you should try a foursome or swing! :) or just be happy with eachother. can be done x

sparks - people a little slow on commenting so far :(

Anonymous said...

My wife and i have recently been having similar conversations to that of 'a dude' and his misses.

I have given this allot of thought, and i think that i would be ok with it. The problem is just that, I 'think' I’ll like it. However I will not know till/if we actually try!

So that leaves one very big and risky 'if' to throw into our marriage...

Maybe we should try the wimp version first and go to a strip club. Play with the idea of her flirting with another woman, get a lap dance for the misses and see how that goes before we board the proverbial ship...??

livingladolcevita said...

Oi yoi yoi. All nice in theory. But I don't know that I could watch my lover appear to have better fun with some other bird. He'd have to keep so much eye contact with me. It would have to be about us, with her just an accessory, if you will. Hectic stuff, since so much of good sex is about emotion (well, for me any way).

Eish.

dorothy said...

plums, try come up with different names - you can fake it - to anony...too many i get confused

anony2 > not a bad idea at all actually. i know what you mean that you 'think' you'll like it... sometimes shit is just better as a fantasy; the trick is to be very, super, ultra tight with your mate about what goes down and how it plays out... and that it's about you two as a couple... i'll do the show tomorrow and then post the actually response

@dolce > now, pup, why does everyone assume it's two chicks and a guy?

Shelldon said...

I dun it... both mmf and ffm... one was totally planned to to the n'th degree and the other the result of a bottle (or two) of wine and everybody's favorite game... strip coinage.

Honestly, both experiences were not as great as our fantasizing together in bed had been, but we were determined to try it out. Not saying we regretted it, but we had loads more fun watching porn together than actually carrying out the act.

My advice when you're in the 'that' mood, grab a bottle of wine, some porn, some interesting toys and of course naughty food... so much more satisfying :)

Anonymous said...

This has been a always conversation that my wife and I have discussed and we want to try it with proper planning. MMF MFF,
My wife was looks foward to it but I cannot wait for it to happen.

Anonymous said...

Anony 1 here :) Colleague at work (and hub) in UK did the swinging thing - gave me the creeps watching them flirt with a pretty student I worked with them. Think will have to try the "just be happy" route.

Anonymous said...

So, The wife and I have done both. Well, we started with threesomes. Now, we're swingers. It's a tad more complicated, but still basically the same.

We did it with friends, and strangers and with strangers that became friends afterwards.

The only recommendation I can make to any couple wanting to try this is this.

Don't stop communicating.

It's the one thing that can ruin a perfectly good relationship. Talk about it beforehand, during and afterwards. Especially afterwards.

Talk about feelings, how it felt, how you thought it would feel, the pros, the cons, just keep talking and make sure you are both ok with what is planned, taking place or took place.

Great article, and post.

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

This post made me feel very ignorant - for I can't tell if chicken is a term with which I am unfamiliar or if that couple wants to introduce poultry to their bedroom.

dorothy said...

LOL @megan. i call people a range of pet names. chicken, pup, plum...

Anonymous said...

Hey Chicken Dot
you rock !!!

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