Tuesday, August 31

bedside reading

i love reading. and i love nick cave. and when the two come together i'm in the throes of outright fucking passionate passion.

anton marshall from nobodyknowsyourname (and now channel24's music ed) knows this wee fact about me and presented me with a little surpise something something over the weekend.

the death of bunny munro.

i think the last cover is the most apt. bunny's a bipolar (in my opine) sex addicted, door-to-door salesman haunted by the wife he drove to suicide and in charge of parenting the crusty eyed nine-year-old left behind.

it's not a pretty picture. and frankly, i'm not - like one write-up suggested - falling inlove with bunny against all odds. he's quite stinky.

but i love the story and the characters and the language and twisted tragidy of it all. cave is unbearably good. munro is on a different level to and the ass... it's easier to read, it seems less painfully written and is probably more accessible to more people

'Cave's previous novel, And the Ass Saw the Angel, was a gothic fever-dream composed of swamp gas and scripture, presided over by the spirit of Faulkner and O'Connor. This second book, though, is more original.' -- Herald

Monday, August 30

postsecret pic of the week


ah hmm hummm love purrr. i like loving someone. i think there's too high a premium placed on being able to get along through life by yourself.

We're actually just not built that way. Monkeys aren't ever expected to manage a solitary life for all their lives you know.

great. monkey envy. how awesome is my life?

I mean, yes, yes, I know it's so much better being single. you don't have to give a shit about anyone else and you can do whatever you want when you want it. you can sleep with whoever you like, however you like. go wherever you want whenever you want. you can eat chocolate vermicelli for dinner and not wash up (true story).

romantic dinner for two? fuck that shit. chocolate worms for me please.

these things are all fine and well and good and i've often prided myself on being 100% self-reliant. but, well, that's just all feeling a little yawn at the mo. and although i LOVE my friends, i can't cuddle naked with them. or poke their faces.

So this all got me to thinking about settling and partners and the one and the inbetweeners and the and the and the... which means it'll all be in the column this week.


Sunday, August 29

i could've danced all night

although i am pleased to announce that my mojo is mostly back i feel i have to point out that waking up at 8.20 on a SUNDAY morning is UNACCEPTABLE after only getting into bed at 5.00 AM.

why my body does this is a mystery to me. if i was not smoking, as i am wont to do for months and months, that awake time would've been 7 AM.

sometimes i blame the sun.



but as those who have shared a bed with me will affirm, this doesn't always need to be the case.

i think my body counts up time and reckons that as i will probably spend, at some point in the future, entire weekends in bed sleeping it'll get its awake time in where it can.

thanks body.

anyhoo. last night was the first night i went out and rocked the party hard without turning into a snivelling social buttercry. it was fun and the men were charming. though the weirdest pick-up line had to have been from a drunk irish man: GOD you are FUCKING ODD. i think that's fucking fanTAStic. kiss me.

although i tend to dish out kisses like candy in a creche, i didn't. i think i'm putting a self-imposed kissing moratorium on myself for now.

or at least i'll try.

last night's round-up of interesting characters included:

a bushy-haired frenchy, whose GF's boy BFF (it scares me that i am using those terms) came to tell me 'zat alzo he wood be zo happi eef hees frend and i got togezer hees gurlfrend ees not so happi about uz tahkeen'. i found this odd cos i thought bushy hair was actually gay and the boy BFF was his boyfriend.

a short muscle mary in a tight bulls jersey (ms america just kept saying: what the FUCK man. are you CRAZY? why are you wearing that top? what's WRONG with you??) who whipped his top off to parade his pecks and then insisted he WASN'T ON FUCKING ROIDS MAN that he WASN'T FUCKING GAY. man. HE'S IN THE FUCKING XYZ TEAM. FUCK. man. i relaxed the raging bull by getting him to talk about pissing techniques. my gaydar is SO kak these days.

um. i think he's just gay acting.
(an aside: do you know how many times mz beckham appears when you google 'gay man'. a LOT.)

a lovely bar manager who kept bringing drinks our table so that we didn't have to stand at the bar and wait like everyone else. (although i'd like to credit how awesome we all are, i think it might simply be because of that unspoken comradery thing restaurantuers have [i was with noen and sherry]).

a convo with a zim dude that started off with him trying to convince me that it would be a good idea for us to get together as his wife and child in zim and his girlfriend and child in eastern cape are all too far, and ended with me lecturing him about the mandrax he does and condom use.

just living that dream

ah there were others, all funny, all wonderful. sadly though, as i got home i still thought, gosh that would've been funner with mr hardman around.

god i'm such a nerd.

anyway. i would more, but i'm meeting the don for a long overdue luncheon which would've been boozy but will now prolly just be healthy, what with this annoying hangover, so i must adieu.

later plums

Wednesday, August 25

music to drive by

one of my most favourite things in the world to do is to drive. specifically to drive and listen to some groovy music.

actually this could be a whole ode to my car, which (whom?) i love most dearly. but for the purposes of this post, we'll focus on betty's (for that is the mojo name with which she has been blessed) fucking awesome sound system.

see what i'm doing here? see? huh? huh? do ya?!

went for a midnight drive on saturday. the weather in cape town looked like this:

there's a mountain in the background

possibly not the smartest time to do the city bowl > hout bay > constantia nek > city bowl drive. but it was FUN. and i reckoned it was time to get into the CD sparky gave me a million years ago, Sade's new soldier of love.

for the record i think sade is one of the most beautiful women in the whole wide universe-that-we-know-of.

and i love her voice in the same way that i love nina's.

SoL is generally kinda sad. which is probably why i've been putting off listening to it. although sade can write 'happy' music, there's always a hint of the wistfully sad kinda humming and purring its way through the lyrics or the tunes...

i dunno how but this chicken is probably the only person who can make sad sound very, very sexy.

so my faves from the album are the first two -- the moon and the sky and soldier of love -- but i really enjoyed babyfather and bring me home.

soldier of love


i'd love to embed a track for you, but that's all either been disabled on youtube or sony's decided that buttfuck south africa doesn't get to watch her videos online. so you have to go direct to the site (she has youtube uploads from there, but only the frontpage vids work. sux.)

i couldn't find info on whether her and her hubby are still together, cos lord knows it sounds like she's working through another broken heart.

but, hey, that could just be me...


Tuesday, August 24

postsecret pic of the week

the smell of leather makes me horny. this presents something of a moral quandry what with being a vegetarian and all. and i have no olfactory bias for leather in a kink context... leather couches, leather jackets, leather boots, any good quality leather will do...

in fact there's a store in kalk bay that sells antiques and very pricey furniture and it has this one room all dressed up with antiques and pricey leather couches and when you walk in it just smells like leather and fire smokiness and charcoal and...


yuppo. morning ya'll...

Saturday, August 21

Friday, August 20

drugs not hugs

working on an article about drug trafficking routes through africa and just found this vid on youtube via endtheepidemic about two heroin junkie brothers in south africa. grim.

and after doing some research into how the coke trade is fucking with africa i'm even less of a fan. will post about that later.


it's like the active form of 'meh', which is how i've reverted to feeling about the sablogawards.

in an attempt to get to the bottom of my moo-ness i decided to use all the journalistic skills i've acquired after years in the field to find out if the sablogawards should be taken - as with other awards in SA (i'm looking at you pica and eatout) - with a large receptacle of salt.

after digging deep deep deeper, i found what i was looking for to confirm my suspicions. (you too can do so by clicking here > www.sablogawards.com/previouswinners). if you're a blogger/interwebs reader or writer you'll know what i'm talking about.

'nuff said.

so in honour of my moo, i've changed the 'nominate me' widget image to kyknoord's fabulous 'dominate me' badge.

love it.

oao plums. have a great weekend. i'll be on the beach and walking up a mountain i think. and reading probably. and sleeping... ah the days are just packed (it's either that or the grinding reality that i am brokeass. as one twitterer said the other day, at the end of the money there's still some month left.)


Tuesday, August 17

the biggest poser

you know. i always swore i'd never do this blog awards thing. for three reasons.

  1. it just seems lame. after all, it's a BLOG for christsakes. not the Great American (Seffrican) Novel.
  2. i don't SEO/optimise/keyword/afrigator/network/trawl for followers etc etc enough to get the kind of manic hit count that raises eyebrows.
  3. i'm pretty lame when it comes to updating my blog. i get FOB easily and bore myself more easily.
  4. the upkeep of constant online relevancy is daunting and skews, sometimes for me, the actual act of living. do i really, REALLY want a pizza named after me? is that the price pinnacle of being The Best Blogger In The Whole Wide South Africa?
  5. and last but not least. i'm easily threatened. it's so boring to be so trite, i know... but there you go.
ok. that was 5. in reality i could probably keep going to 10. actually the only real reason i don't want to do it cos i want to win. and i prolly won't. and then i'll want to smoke.

god that shrink app on monday canNOT come soon enough...

but, ja. so then i saw someone tweet about the SAblogAwards and i got a desperate pang in my gut and the strains of bros's when will i will i be famaaaaahsss? and then i thought i'd just do this thing, and rock my little blog and hey, who knows, maybe i'll win myself a 'i'm famous online' t-shirt.

i also ate some pea soup which took care of the pang in my gut.

why do i embarrass myself on my own blog?

moreover. i quite like blogs. and there are actually some really cool ones that deserve the recognition.

besides. if the webs is like the modern-day gutenberg press a little nod in the direction of people who keep it interesting is in order. no?

so. forward ho. and you to...

click the 'nominate me' banner in the right hand column, nominate and then confirm the nomination when the email comes your way.

at least i think that's how it works. but you're clever plums so you'll get it. (also vote for @hestia_berna 's blog, melktertontwerp. it's my fave.)

for you other bloggers - DO IT. even if you're over the seas. (i'm looking at you @thehuman : themusicsarecoming) ((and you jean jeani : sign language)).

later yo, working on the post about new feminism. was busy with it yesterday but google fucked out on the images. just goes to show. google is, after all, headed up by a bunch of white man people.


Monday, August 16

postsecret pic of the week


to this day i have not used water gushing from an opened tap to masturbate. odd considering i've tried every other conceivable technique. pity my bath has two taps now...

my blog is like a mullet

all business in the front, all party in the back

as you can no doubt tell i'm trying to 'revamp' on the site ... it's taking a while cos i'm slow that way sometimes, but my mind is is just full to the brim of things to opine about. so that'll happen soonest.

also. seeing mr hardman tomorrow night and starting therapy next week. coincidence you ask? i think not.

Friday, August 6

dead things...

my heart. hahahahaha. no that's not true. just seemed a funny follow up. ha ha ha ha hmmm...


i've never held a fascination for dead things. as in, things that were once alive but are now dead. they don't interest me particularly. not dead people, not dead flowers, roadkill, fossils, pets... not even shells really. although i have a soft spot for those big shell hangings that people put in their gardens.

don't judge me

on the upside i'll never be into necrophilia. which, when you're adding up the plusses of your personality, may be pretty down there, but, hey, every little bit counts no?

nevertheless. some twittering about taxidermy reminded me of the weirdnesses people are into.

not at all nutty

someone was actually selling this on ebay (along with a handfull of hallucinogens and a copy of pet cemetary one would hope)

see more badass taxidermy fuckups at the aptly titled 'crappy taxidermy'.

now there's bad stuffed dead animal and then there's steampunk art stuff. checkit...

her name is lisa BLACK (for serious, we're practically related, my pseudonym and she...) and she's 'a sculptor, jeweler and artist based in Auckland, New Zealand'. Which is all her unhandy website tells me. Stupid miss black.

BUT NOW, for what this blog is ACTUALLY about. god knows i've been wanting to post this shit for YEARS. victorian death photography. was a big meme thing on boingboing some time back.

they would paint the eyes on the eyelids if closed

Photography was a very popular pastime in Victorian America and, according to author Maureen Delorme, "postmortem photography of the deceased, especially of children, was a virtual obsession to nineteenth century Americans." Bereaved families wanting to keep a memory of a lost child would have a photo made of the child lying in its coffin. >> more on death rituals at ancestry.com

turns out death photography is finding some sort of revival. or is it just art?

Elmira Sang Bastian, 2002, 2004 (detail only)

The work of photographer Walter Schels and journalist Beate Lakotta, called Noch Mal Leben (Life Before Death) documents terminal patients with before and after death portraits -- a kinda modern-day death portrait.

Heiner Schmitz, Nov 2003, Dec 2003

They make me sad. it reminds me too much of how transient everything is. how you can love someone or something one day and then the next day they're gone and then what do you do with all the love?

which is why i don't like looking at dead things. or having them around me.

except maybe a shell hanging in the garden somewhere.

Tuesday, August 3


a few days ago i was talking to The Very Smart Person on the Inside about this whole media tribunal debacle that's going on over here in the south of africa.

he said:
oh it'll never see the light of day. every now and then the ANC gets a bee in their bonnet about something ridiculous and try to table it, but it always gets ditched.

i dunno so much.

i find it worrying that it's a question even being posed in the manner it is.

for those of you new to the debate, some quotes from news sources and colums, with links to the full pieces...


Mandy Roussouw
Big stick to beat 'errant' journalists

The media appeals tribunal mooted by the ANC could include measures to imprison journalists or force them to pay millions of rands in fines, the party's national spokesperson, Jackson Mthembu, warned this week.

"If you have to go to prison, let it be. If you have to pay millions for defamation, let it be. If journalists have to be fired because they don't contribute to the South Africa we want, let it be [own bold]," he said...

Mthembu said that, despite severe criticism of the tribunal, the ANC felt it necessary to implement the proposal ... "Our impression is that the media has more freedom than all the freedoms that all of us enjoy. Media freedom supersedes all other freedoms..." [yeeeees?]

"But then we saw it was becoming a pattern and certain ministers are being singled out and we had to say something..."
[These 'certain ministers' are the one's spending oodles of tax-payers dosh on the finer things in life...]


Our media freedom is an embarrassment to the rest of Africa

Onkgopotse JJ Tabane
Media tribunal: Why all the fuss?

Methinks the media tribunal is a good idea after all. For the first time after 16 years of democracy politicians will have a haven where they can run off to appeal against the media’s nosy ways.

The public will also have a well deserved break from all the exposés on corruption — the Oilgates and the Travelgates of this world — things that really put politicians in a bad light. I mean, who wants to know what Blade Nzimande did with a bag full of money?...


SOME not-so-funny COMMENT:
State-controlled media in this here democracy? Never...

Tim Cohen
Media document pays no heed to the loudest voice.

...It does not, as “media diversity” might suggest, examine the overwhelming control that the state has over TV, the most powerful medium. Neither is the focus on radio, in which the state again has enormous influence...

The focus is the print media, the smallest in terms of total media voice...



There will be many, many more pieces over the next few weeks and i'll blog them occasionally.

the twittersphere is surprisingly quiet about this. more fuss has been made over less. maybe it's because people aren't taking it seriously. maybe it's because they believe, like The Very Smart Person on the Inside, that this will blow over.

and maybe it does.

but maybe it doesn't.

all the corruption, all the malemas, all the theft, nepotism, back-slapping, criminal behaviour of our ministers, all the border-line cronyism and backwards war-mongering, divisionist thinking aside, there is nothing more sinister and truly alarming than a 'democratic' government threatening to jail or fine journalists for reporting on this.

this is not just about journos getting the raw end of the deal.

this is about your right to information and your voice when it comes to standing up and questioning a government structure that is abusing its power and failing the promises it made.

don't be a dork. pay attention.

Monday, August 2