this is the first of a guest blogging spot from bordeaux. you might've read me talk about him in the columns or blog as simply 'b'. here he is:
Earlier this year, when Alexander and I were visiting Taiwan for the winter, I was talking to a guy online.
He lived in a city northeast of Taipei and was on break from school for the winter holidays. He was single and complaining to me about how small his prospects are for finding the right guy. I couldn't understand why he was having such a hard time finding a boy for a relationship or just some fun. There are loads of very handsome and very available men in Taiwan. Just look at any gay-dating website around here, plenty of handsome and available men looking for love or a good time.
Yes, he said, but they are all Taiwanese and I don't like Taiwanese men. I can't stand them they turn me off. I want a white boyfriend.
Harsh words, I thought, especially coming from a Taiwanese guy. This was not an isolated case.
We talked to several Taiwanese guys who were totally put off by the idea of dating another Taiwanese guy. Another guy was looking for a three-way with another couple, but he was very particular about the couple. Both had to be white, a mixed couple would not do because he refuses to get into bed with a Taiwanese guy.
I stopped the conversation right there.
One friend has only dated foreign men and claims to have almost no Taiwanese friends. Another asked Alexander if he thought he was handsome. When Alexander answered yes his next question was, "But what if you compare me to a white guy?" WTF?
I sent an email to several of my gay Taiwanese friends asking for their thoughts on this topic. None responded. I decided to ambush one of them (who regularly dates foreign men) while out for drinks at Taipei's Red Square this past weekend, a well-known gay bar neighborhood, similar to Soi 4 in Bangkok, but prettier.
"Do you have a preference for white guys and what do you think about Taiwanese guys who aggressively refuses to be with a Taiwanese guy in any way?"
His answers were vague and non-committal. "Maybe they got hurt in a relationship with a Taiwanese guy," was the lame suggestion. At least he said that he does not mind having sex with Taiwanese guys, which I know is true (the gay community in Taiwan is fairly small, things get around).
But I do also know that he pretty much only ever goes out on dates with foreign guys and I have never heard him talk about dating someone Taiwanese. He should have been a good source, but unfortunately I did not get much out of him.
The next evening we had our good friends Honey-D and Honey-J over for dinner. They're both Taiwanese and have been together for quite a couple of years now. I asked them why there are guys out there who exclusively dates white guys.
Honey-J giggled and suggested it's because they are size queens who firmly believe in the generalization that foreign men are bigger. Honey-D's answer was more intriguing.
He told me about this Chinese saying, 外國的月亮比較圓, which basically translates as something like the moon in the western world is more perfect. "Do you guys believe that?!" I asked in shock. "Of course not! It's stupid, but when we here of someone who feels like those guys we say this," said Honey-D.
A bullshit saying, but it does sum things up. After all, David Beckham's face is selling razors instead of way yummier Hidetoshi Nakata from Japan. A couple years back Brad Pitt was seen in car commercials, not Taiwanese-born dreamboat Takeshi Kaneshiro.
It's a sad state of affairs, but white is still seen by many people in Asia as some to-be-aspired-to ideal. Something I honestly do not get. I'm not going to claim that I don't see race or ethnicity, but to me, a guy is a guy, and a penis is a penis.
If the package includes good looks and someone who can hold a conversation, bonus! Luckily for me I'm fortunate enough to be in a relationship with someone who chose me based on looks and brains (I think!), and the same goes for our friends the two Honeys.
say hello bordeaux here
say hello bordeaux here
(it's actually odd that b's guest blog is about asian dudes wanting the white arse. ever since i posted 'i could've danced all night' with a pic of an gay asian dude pegging his partner, my blog's been hit more times than britney with the key words 'hot+asian+guy'...)