Monday, October 4

red pill, blue pill

i've been pretty pooped since the burglary. and angry. emotionally pooped. and quietly angry. every day i remember i'm not seeing stuff they've obviously taken. i look for it then it's gone. it's like a fresh little violation every day.

saw jean, my therapist, this morning. it was really difficult. 15 minutes before the end of the session i was doing the whole 'need to pee, we really should end this now' uncomfortable shuffle in the couch. she just sat like a tanned, wrinkled morla, waiting waiting waiting for me to get the itchy words stuck in my throat out.

they've really been there since thursday. i'm still a little shell-shocked. after i found my door kicked in i called mr hardman and he came over. the rest the rest the rest is as it is i guess.

so saturday.

lamented optimism versus reality and love versus sex and loss and longing and expectation with lady lou over brandies and cokes (yuz my china i'm not shittin') at van hunks. it's the new 20-something cool afrikaans hangout in cape town she said. hence the b&c's i asked?

i'm drinking whiskey darling she said.

i don't care. the sugar and alcohol made me feel better. warm and fuzzy. but not enough to negate the next day.

i taste blood in my mouth.

1 comment:

LordFoom said...

Everything's going to be ok.