Thursday, May 5


dear lovelies, i'll no longer be posting on blogger, but i'll be keeping the content up for a bit, for shits and giggles and because my developers told me to.

and they're pretty smart.

get your butt to the new site!

Tuesday, April 26



goddammit plums. i just carent get the boogy on with my blog cos at the back of my head is sitting the new site which calls to me, longing to leave the shackles of its dev test site but which cannot do so until? until the hosting has been sorted out. hosting. what a fucking nightmare.
are you missing me?
say you are.
don't make me come over there and get freaky on you.
i love colours.
my dev and design people do not love this about me.
they'll probably read this at some point.
tell me how much you miss me. best ode to dot wins a *big hug*.
ha ha ha.

Tuesday, April 19


First impressions
My first introduction to the bcurious was when Cath from Whet held the tip of the little black darling to my hip bone (where you should be testing your vibes, not the tip of your nose) and set the vibe to no. 4. A deep, velvety thuck thuck thuck brrrrrr escalated in waves along my hip bone and down into my pelvic region and I was sold.

it's packaged very nicely although the insert is a little lame and it hides behind the name 'personal massager' and a million disclaimers. typically american.
i love the little bag, it's substantial and discreet in a very unsexy but functional way that says i house a hearing aid, not a sex toy that will blow your o-meter

What it is
The bcurious is a hand held vibe designed specifically for external clitoral and vulva stimulation. From US company, B Swish, this rechargeable, waterproof vibrator is made from odorless PC plastic and coated with black and fuchsia satin soft silicone finish. The whole design is super-slick and very sexy – there’s simply nothing pretty or frivolous about the bcurious. It’s the Dita Von Teese to the cute Pollyanna LayaSpot. Non-phallic, non-penetrative and discreet it doesn’t scream ‘LOOK AT MY SEX TOY’, but as there’s no lock on the on/off switch, so you might want to travel lightly with it.

How it works
Fitting very snugly into the palm of your hand, the whole device slips between your labia, sending pretty powerful vibes over your entire clitoral area. You can use it by yourself or during sex, stimulating your clit and labia while your partner penetrates you.

just before i took it for a spin in the water

What it does
The bcurious is a pretty straightforward vibe, with 7 pretty average speed settings – fast, faster, fastest, some other variation of speed ... except for the magical no 4 – the thuck thuck thuck brrrrrr is quite spectacular. The vibrations are strong enough to work well through clothes but quiet enough to not be heard through doors and walls. The fact that it’s waterproof will make bathtime playtime, if water sports is what you’re into. Just make sure the silicone plug is properly plugged and don’t use any bath oils as this could deteriorate the silicone.

What i thought of it
The happy
The bcurious rechargeable ‘massager’ is surprisingly light and I love how well-designed it is. (Though, if you like some weight behind your vibes, this might not be a plus.) There are curves in all the right places for an easy, effortless grip, and the cheeky tip is just pointy enough to make it a thrilling sensitive-spot-seeker-outter.
perfect curves on the back for your fingers

Frankly there’s not much I don’t like about this little vibe. It does what it sets out to do and does it well. The controls are intuitive and I like that they light up (all the easier to see in a candle-lit bathroom) and that there’s a separate on/off switch, so you don’t have to flip through a million whizzing settings to get to ‘off’ once the business is done. It’s the small things, you know.

The not happy
As I said, there’s not much not to like about this honey. I think if I was going to point anything out it might be that I’d prefer a greater variety of vibe settings. In my opinion, the first one, which is generally supposed to be the lowest setting is pretty hectic as far as speed and power goes. However, many women have said that the vibrations weren’t strong enough for them, so this basically comes down to how strong you need the vibe to be to get off. Also, the hole body is pretty hard, so if you’re going to be grinding, do so with some gentleness.

Should I run out and buy it now?
The bcurious is very good value for money. If you’re new to toys and want an high-quality, entry-level vibe that isn’t an intimidating penetrative job, the bcurious won’t disappoint. If you’ve got a range already but want to upgrade your hand held external stimulator to one that’s smarter, sexier, rechargeable and waterproof, the bcurious is definitely the way to go. So, basically, I love it. Run out and buy it. But even if you don’t, just go try that thuck thuck thuck brrrrrr against your hip bone and then imagine that between your legs. Dreams are made of this.

1.Made from hard PC plastic and silicone
4.Length 10 cm, Width 4 cm
5.About R700 (though this depends on where and how you buy)

Friday, April 15



domain transfers are not so much fun
i've cried three times today

i don't really want to blog until the new site is up







and the only reason i have to go through this is because SOMEONE at hetzner through a small fit about naked people.


fuck you.

saying that, they are being really helpful and they have provided the best service so far. 70% of the frustration is fuelled by the fact that i'm being forced to leave such good service.


Tuesday, April 12


sparky sent this to me just now. chicks with steve buscemi eyes? who thinks this shit up? what kinda drugs are you smoking guy?


it's pretty genius. it's like facebombing but more labour intensive. checkit>

steve buscemi

natali portman with buscemeyes

tyra banks with buscemeyes
(i think she looks better with crow eyes > clickety click)

the olsen twins with buscemeyes

pink with buscemeyes

see more buscemeyes here [clickety click]. anyhoo i've got a bad case of the deadline.
chat later

Sunday, April 10

postsecret pic of the week

this week's postsecret selection is so brilliant it was difficult to choose, but these were the ones i like...

this woman clearly wants to be my 1950s housewife.
remember this post? [clickety click]

aaah shame *sad face* ... but who hasn't felt this as one point

happy sunday/monday plums!!

Friday, April 8

an unacceptable site

so plums
hetzner has very courteously kicked me off their servers citing contravention of their acceptable usage policy:

It has been brought to our attention that your website '' has connotations of being an adult-orientated site. Hetzner's hosting policies specifically exclude adult-orientated sites. Below please find the extract from our Service Contract which applies to adult-orientated sites: Adult-Oriented Sites (version of 1 August 2007) Adult-oriented sites, designed for entertainment or commercial purposes, are not allowed on Hetzner servers. Forbidden sites include those that provide access to pornographic materials or nudity, whether for free or for payment, regardless of whether adult verification is used or not. For purposes hereof "pornographic materials" is assigned the meaning in the Films and Publications Act 65 of 1996 and "nudity” refers to a person’s intimate parts, but excludes nakedness in a natural and non sexual context, such as breastfeeding. Exceptions are made for educational sites.

what is nakedness in a 'natural' context exactly (apart from breastfeeding, which facebake says is 'obscene' anyway)?

what if it's art?

manet's olympia - a shock to the paris collective in 1865

boucher's leda and the swan - if you recall your classics that's where leda gets raped by zeus disguised as a swan, see how boucher's clever swan looks like a penis (with balls) about to penetrate leda? 1740

Bruce laBruce, Untitled (Pig's Blood Blowjob) 2002 - that's supposed to be jeff koons giving head btw and jeff koons is a BIG, FAMOUS ARTIST who did this...

a whole series of porn parody images that ask the question, when is sex beautiful art and
when is it filthy smut. (that's a real porn star in the pic btw...)

i could post more, but for time constraints.

anyway. very sad about hetzner, because they've given me such excellent service so far. poop.

moving along.

meeting with my developer today who is going to show me the whole new site --- all very excite and hopefully it'll be up and running next week.

ciao plums. hope you have a great weekend.

Wednesday, April 6

virginity? screw it.

Dorothy Black recalls her first time and thinks virginity is, well, so overrated. Agree with her?

It might surprise you to find out that my first sexual liaison was, in fact, not a Bohemian affair of mushrooms, wine and French music. It was not with an older Don Juan who deflowered me on satin and velvet, surrounded by candles, incense and the whispering Pacific tide. I was neither a blushing nor rebellious 16 year old, looking for the meaning of life, the universe and everything in the arms of a lover.

Nope. Not me.

i want to write more, but the little forge fairies are busy doing magical things like migrating my site to it's new home. EEEEEEKKKKK. i'm so exite i could just platz ya'llz!


Sunday, April 3

postsecret pic of the week

yeah postsecret was kinda cool this week. to make up for the total lack of blogging of late (and i know how you've been feeling that inexplicable dot-shaped hole in your life from my silence...) i've added lots of NSFW pics - it's the old 'sex for affection' routine ya know ... i post smutty images and you start reading my blog again in hopes of reading something useful and delightfully opinionated (did i tell you i spent 3 hours writing just such a blog last week – THREE HOURS – and then deleted it ... i think the trauma brought on the FOB ... ((and if you read the blog often enough and know what that means you can keep your smart alec mails to yourself)) ) piece by yours truly....


onwards and sideways...


another position for the suction dildo - doorframe dick here

i want those heels. give them to me. you keep the panties and the penis.

ciao ciao mes petites prunes (babelfish tells me this is french for my little plums O_o)

Tuesday, March 29

even angels will fall

axe have moved on from making mere mortal (but drop-dead gorgeous) women fall for (or lose their minds over) quirky-looking man-boys because of the way they smell.

i feel like i should not like this, cos it's all so a little yadda yadda, angels yadda yadda, italy, beautiful women, halo yadda yadda, innoce--blah blah blah

but it made me giggle so i like it

check out the cute victoria station promo the agency set up in englandland on violet blue's site [clickety click]

Sunday, March 27

postsecret pics of the week...

hahahaha the postsecrets were good this week. i liked this one. it reminded me of a convo i had last week about some 'are you normal?' show queen oprah screened last year. like what the average person does. some things that stick in my mind ... the average person:

1. looks into the tissue after they've blow their nose
2. looks into the toilet paper after they've taken a dump
3. hides food wrappers in the garbage so people don't know what they've eaten

not that those stick in my head cos i do that or anything. you know. or that i piss in the shower. ever.


i don't have a NSFW pic (well, not TOTALLY ... it's an illustration of an ass) but this was new for me and i thought i should share it with you. behold:

figging: verb, peeling a piece of ginger and fucking your partner up the ass with it.

this is very funny to me i have to say. pretty funny indeed.
oao plums.

Wednesday, March 23

back to the future

kiffness doesn't come much more kiff than this. photographer irina werning had a brain squeeze about photographing adults in settings of kiekies from their youth.

check out more of the back to the future series here [clickety click]


Tuesday, March 22

i have sex

so the conservatives in america are at it again.

abcNews says the 'House of Representatives Friday passed a measure to end federal funding for abortion provider Planned Parenthood'* and that 'the measure would eliminate about $330 million through the end of September for preventative-health services, including federal funding for contraception and cancer screenings, at Planned Parenthood clinics across the country.'

*it would be awesome if SA could have a similar website. pretty fucked up that in a country with such crazy sex, std and baby problems we can't even get a government-sponsored info website up and running.

Check out the full report here with video at this clickety click.

now, we might not care what the americans do to cock their country up further (i certainly don't), but i always love the lovely filmy effort that goes into lovely filmy things when they do (moorcock, gore, you tube posters) ... here's what happened after the funding was dropped...

can't we all, for the love of god, or at least for the love of sanity and all that is good and respectful of human intelligence please MOVE FORWARD?

pretty please?

Friday, March 18

friday funny

if you do not think this is cute and/or funny you do not have a soul. #justsaying

dear christina hendricks

i love you

i really do

god i love you. or at least your face, your lips, your eyes, your skin, your body, the way you walk, your voice , your ass, the way you walk, the way you look at the camera, your skin, your hair, your eyes, your mouth, god your mouth, if i had a mouth like that my life would be complete ... i love you, i have no decorum when it comes to expressing my utter appreciation for what you look like. i'm really glad i'll probably never meet you. because you're probably awesome and i'd have to lick your face and smell your hair and motorboat your divine boobage and then i'd get arrested and go to jail where i'd be beaten and have to do laundry, like in the movies, and i hate doing laundry.

but i'd still like to lick your face and smell your armpits (i bet they smell like cherry blossoms)...

which planet does your face come from christina?

go here for this one guy's top 15 pics of christina - and lord i can't disagree.

Wednesday, March 16

blame this

this is my new logo for the new site. i am so excite i can't even LOOK at this crappy blogger interface anymore. i can barely bring myself to place words of inanity pointlessness absurdity beauty and wisdom on this interface of blah. GET THEE GONE blogspot. i am over thee.

Sunday, March 13

facebook friends on star trek

fucking hysterics if you ask me. genius how this was put together.

oh well. hope your weekend was good. i spent today snoozing and reading, reading and snoozing, with some lovely lazy sex in between. (why is in between not one word? ditto by product. i've made byproduct one word in my editing. so there. fuck you oxford. i'm going all americano on yo ass etc etc.)

and now going to watch get him or me or something to the greek.

Friday, March 11

room 33

Room 33 Erika Lust from boolab on Vimeo.

Six directors were chosen to create a film short in 24 hours in the same building in barcelona, shooting at the same time for the project called HOTEL. This is Ms Lust's contribution.

Although i find the hotel in her depiction of it a little too cool to turn me on, i LOVE the idea - i want to be in a hotel like that. i'll take a MMF tonight please.

for more behind-the-scenes images clickety click. the other movies can be found on or check the whole movie running in sequence on lustfilms >> . i really enjoyed Roger Gaul and Steve Green's piece (the one in the bar) ... the last three are all in spanish with no subtitles. poo.

need it be said that lust's piece is NSFW?

happy friday plums

Thursday, March 10

not on top of it

How could that happen?
How could that happen again?
Where the fuck was I looking
When all his horses came in?

We wanted to find love
We wanted success
Until nothing was enough
Until my middle name was excess

dear pj harvey. once again the voice of my angst. both lyric excerpts come from her 'stories from the city, stories from the sea' album.

when i started this blog, this dorothy black thing, it was a bit of fun you know, a little side-line project to life.


well, now it's a whole beast by itself. a beast i feel terribly compelled to feed. it is an alter-ego that demands constant attention. me and my twin.

i joke often about the whole (ir)relevancy issue. but in my small world, where i like to do other shit that isn't SM related it becomes problematic.

so every now and then i suffer from the FOB ('fear of blogging' for those of you new to the site), usually when i see my hit count shoot up and stay up, and new plums clickety clicking daily... it freaks me out a little... like performance anxiety on a soap box -- sad, amusing, a little pathetic

but there you go. i'm in the middle of a full-blown case of the FOB. overwhelmed by information i don't have, that i should have ... overwhelmed by keeping my two realities from colliding ... just overwhelmed

i kinda wish i lived in america where sex writers mean something. enough to make a focused living off of, instead of trying to squeeze everything in into a working whole...

anyhoo. that's my yadda yadda for now.


aiee nick nick - i still think of you

catch you later

Wednesday, March 9

*insert witticism here*



except that i think john galliano is really funny looking. i spent some time today just looking at pages and pages of images of him, trying to pinpoint what i think is so weird, so lynchian, so bizarre about the way this man looks.

his features are too much for his face - his eyes are too big, his mouth too wide, his cheekbones too round, his nose too nosey. it's like the idea his face had was to stay over-sized and cartoonish in that way baby animals are genetically processed to do to survive. but forgot he'd get older.

it is excess, constrained.

his pupils always seem dilated. i think it's because he sold his soul to the devil or something for his genius.

every time i see this picture i think that john galliano is not someone i would like the smell of. maybe it's the pink of his skin. it's unsettling. like it would be too sweet, too practised. or too musky, too deep with his own honest smell that it would unnerve. one of those smells that clutch to your clothes if you get too close, and cling to you, an unwanted haunting you're compelled to entertain until you shower again.

i don't care much for his anti-semitic rant. personally i think he was just drunk and making a show. being outrageous. apparently he's done it before tho, so, who knows.

i can just imagine that when the world is your oyster and you've attained everything we're told is worth to attain - money, genius, wealth, status - where you can do no wrong, where you're surrounded by adoring yes-men, where you get your way with everything, maybe the only thing to do is keeping pushing til something says no.

or maybe he's just an egoist. a douche. i would say cunt, but while i understand it to a highly offensive word, it still refers to lovely lady bits, and why would i want to associate galliano with my vagina.

or something. i'll stop now.