Tuesday, February 8

what does dot look like

One of my most clicked on pages is the 'will the real dorothy black please stand up' one. when people google 'dorothy black' they mostly get this:

hungarian honey etc etc

suffice it to say, that's not me. my pseudonym has no connection to her at all. i started this blog in 2006 and chose a pen name because i wanted to slag my ex off without him knowing (we played in the same circles back then) and write about my pain and suffering on a public forum where others could share in my misery.

heartache and pain!! what an adventure!!

i think i managed about two posts along those lines and then got bored. but the blog and the nick stuck. so here we are. til about two years ago no one's really given a fuck what i look like, but since the whole sex column/5FM thing, i've been mailed more and more about it.

i keep the name and the anonymity for various reasons, but the two main ones are to keep the creepos away and because of this (click click).

mostly questions about how i look have been pretty straight up: are you fat? are you white? do you have big boobs? are you blonde? are you skinny? are you fucked in the head?

so i thought i'd put it out to twitter to see what people had in their own heads about what i look like. here's what i got:


marleneboyce I imagine you resemble betty boop, but with a more realistic waistline.

alex_jaich Like a Katy perry kind of look...brown hair red lips lol

aadiilah Not skinny, not fat, cheery chubby and bubbly, dark bobbed hair, freckled and fierce, very sharp laugh. (i've always paused at that 'cheery chubby' image of fat people being all post-war jolly)

pixelslave10 Dotty,in my mind, you are Dita Von Teese. #hot

DebbieMoans Average height, slender, dark shoulder length hair, loves red and black.Sports a filthy mouth & hugely entertaining @ parties. (yeah it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt)

ErroleneSteven I think you look pretty classy, well put together! (sometimes i can see my mother's eyes glaze over as she tries to picture me as a well-turned out young lady...)

staceywest24 I think you are a little short, dark brown hair, average weight (size 12 pants) but ooze sex appeal and confidence :) (i love the 'but' in this sentence...)

steelesm I think you've got dark hair and a wide smile. (well, now you know... :) )


Charliekie I think stylish but always with a bit of your own twist mixed in... (fashion designer friend to me: your dedication to anti-fashion is endearingly sweet darling, but maybe it's time you grew out of it...)

Gatekeeper_TD Medium height. Long tied up black hair. Always showing some cleavage. High heels and makeup a must. Red lipstick! (i think my friends would laugh and laugh at this, but never mind them gatekeeper, deep down this is what i actually want to look like ... see above, dita/betty/katy)

russellsmartin Not sure what you look like, but wish my google image search came up with pics as awesome as your does !

TyronlSA Nice curves- not too thin, not fat, the sex life keeps you in shape, look early 30s, sex life makes you look young, brunette! (cos 30 is screamingly old?)

traaidmark I think you would probably look a bit retro, pale skin, midsize bewbs, cocktail dress... brown eyes maybe. uhm... arty-ish (this could basically describe the whole of cape town's hipster-cool crowd. sometimes i long to be a hipster, but then i remember i have an actual personality)

naswho I picture you exactly the same way as @MvelaseP does. Must be a societal perception.

MvelaseP Early to mid-30s, voluptuous but not fat, medium height, dark shoulder length hair. White, but your feet show that. (voluptuous but not fat? hm ... i struggle with this phrase ... it's like 'voluptuous' is the new 'big boned'... i think by today's skewed size-zero standards, voluptuous is fat.)

_AhuraMazda_ Hmmm. Mid 20s, dark/brunette, "white", 5ft6, average build (not fat nor thin) (confused as to why white is in quotes? am i pretending to be white? am i kinda white, but not really?)

CoetzeeBok Killer legs. About 1.72 m tall. Auburn hair. Green eyes. In short. Sexy (you sure you're not thinking of @liliradloff?)

DJMager7 Judging be the feet, thin, well curved, confident brunette who struts around in lingerie. Hit or miss? (struts around in lingerie? i only strut on sundays and public holidays...)

adifil Your are brunette thin but not skinny and probably pretty and maybe a B-cup ;) (spot on on the boob size)

afairweather Little, curvy and stylish, with a wicked smile and a glint of mischief in your eye.

kevincopley Thin. Good body, long legs. straight black hair, bit below shoulders. Fair skin. Med sized boobs. That what I think. Close?

alessiolr I think you're a skinny little fiery redhead.

orphan annie - a skinny, fiery little redhead

LordFoom Unnaturally blonde, medium build, about 1,70 - 1,75m, sharp dresser, long hair. Is there a prize for the closest guess?

JDean78 Dirty blond hair, lekker tiete ennnn jy's 'n korterige chick? (lekker tiete? WHAHAHAHA)

watkykjy For fun I did a Google image search. Its just vag, dick and tits, so I am sitting this one out. Tainted. (wise)

willviljoen I'm guessing about 5'8', blonde hair (possibly fake), nice build, but with some nice curves to go with.

ryno23gouws I think your about 5 ft 10 slim blond with blue eyes.

mikeyferraris skinny, snobby blonde (gwyneth paltrow?)

QqlessPlz Face of jessica alba , boobs of pam anderson and a sex drive of a young michael jackson ;) (i was all like, cool yeah , awesome yeah, ... and then the michael jackson thing gave me the 'no' feeling)

surprisingly, the majority WASN'T blonde like i originally thought, but i only put together the blond pics cos i didn't feel like doing the others...

there were others via email, but i think you get the idea...

here are the pics people sent in:

suicide girls

(when i take that little yellow pill that makes me feel really good)

so, THAT's how people are seeing me... and now, because you've been such lovely plums ... here's a pic of me that isn't my feet:

bb cameras aren't that awesome i've found. so yes, grainy etc etc

so there you have it. some face. some hair. some chin. some teeth. and tongue. you were all mostly right about the hair colour. well done ya'll :)



Sparky said...

I know...I KNOW!
but I've been sworn to secrecy.
because as sweet as dorothy black can be, she can also be mean. and she knows people...people who know people. and those people know people who shoot to castrate, not shoot to kill.

and I still look forward to the future vigorous usage of my tackle.

(just a hint though - the dita von teese picture is in the neighborhood and that's all I'll say on the matter)
*covers nads and looks around nervously*

dorothy said...

dita? you're TOO kind. FAR too kind. *starts dialling*

The Scarlet Veil said...

LOL, I always pictured you with short, brown hair, a shortish woman, petite. But the rest is a blank.

dorothy said...

and sometimes i picture myself as dita von teese and all the rest is a blank :)

Pieter said...

I have to admit I find reading your blog very entertaining and can't help but be really amused about some of the comments to say the least.

Instead of actually guessing what you do look like, I'd rather have the mystery. I do however have a question.

Why is it so important for others to know what you look like? When did looks become so important that society seem to dictate as to what's sociably acceptable in the looks department?!

dorothy said...

glad you like the blog piet. as for why it's so important for people to know what i look like? i dunno. mostly i wouldn't care, but i got tired of looking at my twitter feet. it was time for a change :)

Pieter said...

As much as I like the feet pic I have to admit the new added pic is just as stunning. The windows to your soul are still missing though ;) *hint*

Awaiting the day, that you show those eyes, really impatiently.

The mystery is something I'm crazy about though.

Zilda said...

*clap clap* Woooorld Class entertainment all round, I say! Much better than the spreadsheets I been scrumming with all afternoon.

fatti said...

Haha dot u flippin tease :) but honestly love the mystery meself..but for some wierd reason I did assume dark hair..Interesting..have my own theories abt that though :) thanx 4 gud reads..

dorothy said...

zilda - hahaha i like the word spreadsheets it always sounds a bit naughty. and the 'excel' ruins the hahaha and then it reminds me of how kak i am at numbers and then that makes me sad.

Pieter said...

No need to be sad!

Ever thought just how kak your blog would be if all you saw was 110100010001?!

dignity said...

feet...hands...half a face...
we getting there

Anonymous said...

So gorgeous!

Zilda said...

hmm reminds me of that tune "oh oh oooooooh she sounds like sex on the radio!" thee hee ;)

Anonymous said...

Yes, but are they your own teeth?